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New Year's Resolutions from a Few Big Musical Names

Fine in '09

Happy New Year, everybody. As the calendar starts over, everyone's thinking about what they might do differently in the next 365 days: quit smoking, lose weight, not buy so much porn — you know the drill. Celebrities are no different, so Chatter polled the Houston Press's music writers to speculate what sort of resolutions some of music's biggest names might be making for 2009.

Bradford Cox, Deerhunter: "I resolve to never use the Internet for explaining the following things: Deerhunter's latest move to not break up or not record, album leaks from my band, album leaks from other bands, leaky faucets, Farrah Fawcett, Pharoah Sanders, Colonel Sanders, Colonel Mustard and Elephants. I also resolve to use the Internet for explaining everything else, including the things I just said I would never use." (Michael D. Ayers)

Beyoncé: "I resolve to fully integrate Sasha Fierce as another legal person, thereby requiring American Express, Direct TV and L'Oréal to pay me twice when I appear in their commercials. (Jef With One F)

Billy Ray Cyrus: "I resolve to reclaim my heartthrob image in a way that does not require me to pose intimately with my underage daughter. Those Annie Leibovitz photos were a bad idea." (Linda ­Leseman)

T.I.: "I resolve to stop impersonating G.I. Joe, and accept that guns are not a friend, they're a violation of my parole."(Michael Arceneaux)

Young Jeezy: "I resolve to ruin as many songs as possible this year. 2008 wuz pretty good as far as that — I managed to royally screw up Kanye and Usher tracks with slow, dull or unfunny verses. ("It's going down on aisle three / I'll bag you like some groceries!") But there are so many others. Maybe I can fuck up a Clint Black song. That'd be nice, 'cause I don't even know who that is. And what about that skinny Titanic chick who did those Vegas shows? Is she still alive?" (Ben Westhoff)

Katy Perry: "I resolve to actually kiss a girl, just to see what all the hype is about."(Alex Begley)

LOCAL NEWS

The Geto Boys are stirring up trouble again... sort of. Relentless Entertainment, the label owned by former GB Willie D, has just released "Backpack Fulla Gunz," the first single from Willie D's protégés Huntzville. The trio of D-Boi and brothers Lil' Fly and C-Lean, who tout themselves as the "prison city playaz," claim the track documenting a high-schooler about to settle a number of scores with an undisclosed amount of firepower (except that it fills a backpack) is meant as a comment on the rising amount of bullying in the nation's schools: "Saw that fool named Timmy / He used to be a bully / He cried like a bitch when I hit him with a bullet." Nevertheless, the disgruntled protagonist also takes out the principal, guidance counselor, at least one teacher and even the custodian. "Backpack" is available on iTunes, and an MP3 is posted at blogs.houstonpress.com/rocks. Huntzville's debut album, Disrupting the Ordinary, is due in April.

LOCAL MOTION

Top Sellers
Cactus Music
2110 Portsmouth, 713-526-9272

1. Justin Townes Earle, The Good Life

2. Hayes Carll, Trouble in Mind

3. Lucinda Williams, Little Honey

4. North Mississippi Allstars, Boulderado: Live at the Fox

5. Susan Tedeschi, Back to the River

6. Bob Dylan, Tell Tale Signs

7. Alejandro Escovedo, Real Animal

8. Kanye West, 808s & Heartbreak

9. Johnny Falstaff, Honky Tonkin' Daddy

10. Various Artists, Christmas a Go-Go

AIRWAVES

Chickenskin Music
KTRU (91.7 FM), Thursdays 8-10 p.m.
Selections from DJ David John's December 18 playlist

1. Magpie, "Chanukah Chase"

2. Holmes Brothers, "Back Door Santa"

3. Mike, Penny & Peggy Seeger, "Oh Watch the Stars"

4. Boys of the Lough, "The Mummer's Jig"

5. Wynton Marsalis & Marcus Roberts, "O Come All Ye Faithful"

6. Magical Strings, "People Look East"

7. Tish Hinojosa, "Arbolito"

8. Lee Murdock, "The Christmas Ship"

9. Al Kooper, "Winter Wonderland"

10. Slaid Cleaves, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"

(lists compiled by Chris Gray)

 
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