Bill Burr

One of the most caustic comedians out there today, Bill Burr wields his mike like a weapon — especially when it comes to matrimony. “Why do people get married? Statistically, one out of every two marriages fail. If you’re skydiving, and they tell you there’s a 50 percent possibility your parachute won’t open, who the fuck would take that chance?” Or alimony. “How many guys do you see going, ‘Hey, is this the line to get in where I lose half my shit? Awesome!’” Needless to say, Burr is single. His most recent CD/DVD is titled Why Do I Do This?, which is exactly what a lot of guys probably think as they’re walking down the aisle. 8 p.m. Thursday; 8 and 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday. The Improv, 7620 Katy Freeway. For information, call 713-333-8800 or www.improvhouston.com. $17 to $20.

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