T.K. BITTERMAN'S RUSTY NAIL

I guess the front-row tickets and backstage passes Brit Brit was supposed to send me got lost in the mail. Whatever. I found myself having a rusty nail at T.K. Bitterman's (2010 W. Alabama, 713-529-8979) instead of her concert last Monday night. I decided to conduct a survey of the small, but friendly, crowd to see what everyone else's excuse was for not attending the "Circus." Locals Drew and Tracy provided some thoughtful commentary. "Overpriced," "overrated," "overproduced," "celebrity nontalent" and my personal favorite, "not good," were just some of the phrases that were thrown around. We had a few more to add, but this is a family newspaper, right? Tracy's idea for a more intimate, small-venues Britney tour was intriguing. It's always nice to have a choice seat for a spectacular train wreck. But isn't lip-synching too obvious from 30 feet away? Drew's not that innocent. He offered the definitive words on the issue: "I'd still like to play with her jubblies." Amen, Drew. Interestingly, some of the women agreed. I guess raw sex appeal wins out over musical talent every time. As the conversation came to a close, "Toxic" came on the jukebox like a well-timed practical joke on the entire room. Aaaaand...scene.

2 ounces J&B Scotch whisky

1 ounce Drambuie liqueur

Pour Scotch, then Drambuie over ice in a rocks glass. Enjoy responsibly.

stirred@shaken@rocketmail.com