By Chris Lane
By Jeff Balke
By Aaron Reiss
By Angelica Leicht
By Dianna Wray
By Aaron Reiss
By Camilo Smith
By Craig Malisow
Phi Slama Jama Lives — But Not in Houston
Nike's new sneaker not for sale here
With a 31-3 record and slam-dunking skills like no other, the "dunking fraternity" Phi Slama Jama put University of Houston men's basketball on the map in 1983. So much so that Nike will soon be releasing a shoe commemorating the team: A limited-edition release, the Big Nike Hi LE will be sold only at House of Hoops Foot Locker locations in New York, Los Angeles and Chicago.
That's great — people in those cities will be thrilled, but what about those in Houston that, you know, actually attend or have attended UH?
"That's got to be an unbelievable oversight," Thomas Bonk, the former Houston Post writer and the man who coined the phrase "Phi Slama Jama," tells Hair Balls. "Houston should be the place they're launched, and they should get all the players involved, and they should make a big deal about it."
With rumors floating about a Houston location, maybe HOH will make a big deal of it, but after transferred call after transferred phone call, the only person to mention to Hair Balls an opening in Houston has been a random employee at the New York House of Hoops location.
Through "Nike Talk," an online forum for the sneaker-loving community, word on the street is that a Houston location was set to open in March of this year at Willowbrook Mall. But user Kadoma posted, "Due to the current state of the economy plans have been put on hold indefinitely."
After more than two weeks, Nike still has yet to comment on anything regarding the shoe or its release. The shoes are commonly known on many Web sites as the "Nike Big Nike Hi LE — Phi Slamma Jamma" — with two "m's" — even though the team's nickname is only spelled with one "m."
"It's with one 'm,' and when this whole thing happened in 1983, I got a call from Sports Illustrated saying that I misspelled it, and I said, 'How could I misspell it? I made it up,'" says Bonk, now a writer for Golf Digest.
As for whether Nike is dodging a copyright bullet by adding a letter or two, Jeff Conrad, sports information director for the men's basketball team at the University of Houston, said, "That's a common mistake...we have Cougar fans who spell it with two 'm's.'"
Even if they were trying to avoid a lawsuit, it would be UH's bone to pick.
"What I basically wound up doing was kind of giving the phrase to the University of Houston as a gift to the athletic department," Bonk said, "and I'm happy with that."
The Big Nike Hi LE will be decked out in Coach Guy V. Lewis's typical red, white and black plaid jacket, copied on the shoes' side panels. Red and white, the official university colors, accent the entire shoe. The shoes are emblazoned with symbols representative of the fraternity: a Greek letter phi, a slam dunker silhouette and a broken backboard.
Unfortunately, the University of Houston will not be selling them in the merchandising department of the athletic office, Conrad said. And with all the Cougar pride out there, the shoes are bound to turn a profit, but Bonk won't see a penny of it — and he doesn't mind.
"Oh, no, I'm happy for it...I had so much fun covering that team and they were such great players and those memories are forever so, no, I have no problem...anything that makes the University of Houston stand out is good in my book," Bonk said.
BARC & Birds
12 fighting birds in one carrier yields expected results
So let's say you work in Houston's animal control department, and part of your job is to seize animals believed to be abused — like roosters and hens used in bird fights. What would you think would happen if, after seizing these abused fowl, you stuck 12 of them in a single cage?
Well, if you think the answer is "They'd all get along splendidly and go on to lead rich, robust lives," you'd probably be wrong. At least, you'd be wrong in the case of 12 birds that died after being stuffed into a single pet carrier around February 27, according to information BARC has (finally) given Hair Balls.
According to BARC spokesman Benjamin Hernandez, the employee who put the birds in the carrier "did retire on March 31."
Hernandez also told Hair Balls via e-mail: "On February 15th we picked up 54 roosters and 36 hens in a suspected animal cruelty investigation...I have confirmed that 12 of these 90 roosters/hens died. It was requested that these roosters/hens be moved to the SPCA...[and] the SPCA refused them because they had chickens already from another investigation. These were then brought back to the facility. When one of the kennel attendants was unloading them he found that 12 of them had died because too many were loaded into one carrier."
The birds suffocated, he said.
Although Hair Balls asked about this incident the week of April 13, no one at BARC was able to figure out what happened until April 20. That is because, per Hernandez, only a single BARC employee knew of the 12-dead-birds-in-a-cage mishap. This means the information bypassed the facility's chief veterinarian — as well as Health and Human Services Director Stephen Williams, who recently attended a seminar on "How to Build a No-Kill Community" by no-kill advocate Nathan Winograd, who the city has tapped to perform an assessment of BARC.
We know Williams attended, because Houston City Controller and mayoral candidate Annise Parker told everyone in her April 10 newsletter, which quotes Williams as saying he's "committed to work toward lowering our euthanasia rate, increasing adoptions and expanding opportunities for low/no-cost spay and neuters." This is just one reason why, per Parker's newsletter, BARC "may be finally turning the corner toward becoming a more humane shelter dedicated to far more adoptions and far fewer euthanized animals."
And the newsletter may be right — those 12 birds didn't have to be euthanized. They took care of that themselves. Craig Malisow
Colbert Thought He Had a Shot
His hopes were high about NASA
How serious was Stephen Colbert about having that new NASA space node named after him? Pretty darn. We think.
Hair Balls recently spoke with Nick Prueher, who runs the Found Footage Festival that's making its first trip to Houston in a few weeks. Prueher also works production at The Colbert Report, and he was on hand Tuesday night when NASA announced its decision.
"At the show [Tuesday] night, he was legitimately excited about this. He's not feigning enthusiasm when stuff gets named after him. He's like a schoolboy. He's really excited when he talks to people from space and astronauts," Prueher says.
But did he really think he had a shot at part of a spaceship? Indeed he did, according to Prueher.
"I think he goes into these things with very, maybe, naive ideas...You can never tell what's serious and what's not," Prueher says. "But I think he's more serious about things than sometimes people realize." Mike Giglio