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Warp Factor 10

J.J. Abrams's Star Trek: proof that a franchise can live long and prosper.

It's difficult for this long-time Trekkie to review J.J. Abrams's relaunching of the U.S.S. Enterprise. It's difficult to dispassionately dole out compliments and complaints per the job description. Because, yes, the professional critic understands: This is Paramount Pictures' latest effort to jump-start a profitable but long-stalled franchise, to do for James Kirk what MGM did for James Bond. Studio execs know that just enough time has elapsed since the original to engender just enough nostalgia for characters named Kirk, Spock and McCoy. For the professional critic, this reboot has all the trappings and trimmings of the quintessential summer blockbuster: shiny things that fly through outer space and make boom. Plus plenty of merch: Mommy, can I have a phaser?

Good thing I'm not professional. Seriously,Mommy: Can I have a phaser?

Trekkies and civilians alike (those for whom William Shatner's long-ago "Get a life!" jab didn't have the same sting) can rejoice: Not only does this Star Trek proffer smart thrills and slick kicks, but it builds upon the original's history — from its very first pilot episode to Robert Wise's 1979 Star Trek: The Motion Picture and beyond — while creating an entirely new future.

Retooling Gene Roddenberry's hoary, winded pop-cultural warhorse, Abrams has scrubbed, polished and turned the volume up to 11 with admiration and affection for the original series, but little of the diehard's encased-in-amber reverence. All at once, he's revived the corpse but wiped clean its memory — a fresh start. Star Trek is like all of the best offerings in the big-screen Trek series: "wonderful dumb fun," as Pauline Kael wrote in her glowing review of 1982's Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, the franchise's high point from which Abrams and his longtime collaborators — writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, responsible for everything from Alias to Mission: Impossible III — crib so many plot points that Star Trek almost qualifies as a remake.

Even in a universe altered by that most worn-out of Trek plot devices — time travel — Abrams remains faithful to all of the things that transformed a modest science-fiction series, made popular in 1970s reruns, into a beloved touchstone. Trekkies already know half the dialogue by heart; it's the sampled soundtrack to a misspent youth in front of a television. Except now, it's set to the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage."

The story is no more complicated than that of your best Trek TV episode: A bad Romulan (Eric Bana, sporting the full Mike Tyson face tattoo) has come from the future in a tricked-out spaceship to destroy the past (specifically, planets Vulcan and Earth). His motives are barely explained and even harder to understand — unless one has read the four-part prequel comic book, ahem. No matter: Like most Trek baddies, Bana's Nero is decidedly beside the point; he's merely phaser fodder, the latest villain in possession of a doomsday machine who exists solely to threaten Vulcan and bring together on the bridge of the Enterprise Kirk (Chris Pine), Spock (Zachary Quinto), McCoy (Karl Urban), Scotty (Simon Pegg), Uhura (Zoe Saldana), Sulu (John Cho) and Chekov (Anton Yelchin), who — at warp factor 10, red alert, damn the photon torpedoes — must save the universe, this time for the very first time.

The crew is a bunch of untested Starfleet cadets: Kirk is a know-it-all horndog with a penchant for green-skinned ladies; Pine plays him like he's starring in an episode of Dawson's Kirk. McCoy is, well, a simple country doctor who abhors space travel; some things never change, as Urban, among all the cast members, comes closest to spot-on imitation. As for the rest, places, please: Sulu is a guy who likes swords and steers the ship; Chekov is a wunderkind who speaks in a weddy, weddy tick Russian accent; Scotty is working miracles in the engine room; and Uhura is still trying to hail Starfleet on all frequencies to no avail. The more things change...

Spock is the centerpiece — not only as played by Quinto as the tormented youth in revolt raised by the Vulcan Sarek (Ben Cross) and human Amanda (Winona Ryder, almost unrecognizable), but also in the form of Leonard Nimoy, the once-dead first officer who's lived long enough to travel back in time to offer sage advice to old friends in need of — dare one say it — the human touch. Nimoy's scenes elicit genuine emotion, not just the nostalgist's thrill of familiarity or the newcomer's delight at discovery. When Spock tells a young Jim Kirk, "I have been and always shall be your friend," or when he realizes a "Live long and prosper" salutation simply will not do, it's enough to move even a Star Wars fan to tears.

 
  • Jay Francis 05/21/2009 4:35:00 AM

    And a final note. What was with the Nimoy/Spock bad dentures? Good god, man, it's the 23rd century. I'll bet that the Nimoy/Spock denture-speak will get funnier and funnier the more times we watch this movie in the future.

  • Jay Francis 05/21/2009 4:31:00 AM

    Here are the things that truly annoyed me about the film. Why did they have young Spock learning physics with Greek symbols. Why the heck didn't they create a Vulcan script? What was with Winona Ryder's square brassiere? The actor playing Chekhov with a high pitched over the top Russian accent...I predict he will sabotage the franchise unless he tones it down. It was ridiculous. J.J. Abrams. He can't tell a story. This movie needed a Jonathan Demme or a Michael Mann. Really, if you disect it wasn't the storyline of a clunker like Lost in Space about on the same level? I agree with your assessment that the storyline was no stronger than a typical tv episode. Why didn't they try harder?

  • Superbonanza 05/12/2009 7:17:00 PM

    Nero explaining his actions doesn't exactly equate to them making sense. I don't see how he held Spock - the one man supernova destroying crew - responsible when he clearly knew that Spock had been doing everything possible to save their planet. Who cares though? Vague motivations and wonky science are part of Star Trek so it hardly prevented it from being a very entertaining flick.

  • njtx71 05/12/2009 5:43:00 PM

    nero explains the reason behind his actions more than once in the film - both to spock prime and to captain pike. in fact, the reasons behind his actions set up the whole freaking story because without it, the plotline makes no sense.

  • Shane 05/09/2009 1:12:00 AM

    Well though I doubt you ever read these comments (if you do I'm sure you'll recognize me) for once I can say that it looks like you may have actually seen this movie. Usually your reviews appear to be based on the only trailers you've seen. So for once I can say that you didn't right a half bad review. I may disagree with you on a few points but as for the rest its pretty good. Its does however sound like you were more impressed with the visual aspect than the story. Thats too bad. The story was actually very good. Apparently you weren't paying attention each time Nero explained why he was destroying Vulcan and wanted to destroy Earth. He tells the same story at least three times in the movie. As I have told you many times before, you need to pay closer attention to these movies before planning a review. Sitting and putting so much thought into these pointless, cute little remarks, such as, "Mommy can I have a phaser?" is a massive waste of time and you're just not that funny or cute. So concentrate more on telling the truth instead of making useless observations that have no part in the review.

 

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