The Baby Boom That Wasn't and Allen Stanford Deserves a Break, Right?

Highlights from the Blog at HOUSTONPRESS.COM

8. Visitation rights for my wife or girlfriend: Not necessary. See what I mean about being flexible? This clause is dependent, of course, on Clause Number 3 being fulfilled.

9. Bathroom facilities: Standard. As described by a Reuters reporter who visited my office in Houston: "Then on to the bathroom — a chamber of black granite and mahogany, with a gigantic mirror and granite countertop, flanked with shelves of fluffy white towels and toiletries, including a bottle of 'Brilliant Brunette' shampoo...Perhaps the most unusual thing about the bathroom is a nondescript door to the left of the shower. This was Stanford's separate entrance and exit off the parking deck, where he could arrive and depart in privacy." This is all I ask.

10. Decorating: Just one little remembrance of Texas. Let's make it the letter I got from then-President George W. Bush: "I send greetings to the gathered in St. Croix, Virgin Islands to celebrate the expansion of Stanford Financial Group," Bush wrote on White House stationery. "To protect their future well-being and that of their families, it is important for individuals to give careful thought to strengthening their financial security."

All this is not much to ask, I know, but then again I'm a spartan, ­sentimental kinda guy. May it please the court.

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