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The Story of My Life Is it possible that composer/lyricist Neil Bartram has never heard a note of music by Broadway legend Stephen Sondheim? Is it possible that he dreamed up this Sondheim homage without realizing it sounds just like Sondheim, but without the tart, tasty lyrics for which he's justly famous? This two-man show, which only played five performances on Broadway, tells the tale of two best friends from first grade and how they grew apart, and the terrible consequences of not...of not...we don't know from what. Alvin, the weird, childlike one (John Dunn), winds up dead on Christmas Eve, like a funhouse-mirror version of It's A Wonderful Life, which is his all-time favorite movie and doesn't have anything at all to do with anything, except that his mother died a long time ago and he carries a torch for her the size of the Statue of Liberty's. His friend Thomas (Stephen Myers) is now a world-famous, stuck-up author who has taken all the stories of their friendship and made a fortune from them but forgotten little Alvin, who still lives back home and never went anywhere. Thomas is about to marry his fiancée, but thoughts of Alvin get in the way. Is it just me, or are these guys two of the biggest closet cases you've ever seen? Alvin's too wimpy to make a move, Thomas much too uptight. Good lord, just kiss each other and be done with it already. Through December 6. Theatre LaB, 1706 Alamo St., 713-868-7516. — DLG

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