2010 Musical Resolutions

In which we advise our favorite people in the Houston scene on their goals for the coming year.

We at the Houston Press are loathe to give up our own vices, especially at the start of the year when the stress of the holidays means we need those security blankets even more. Don't get us wrong — we've tried giving up smokes, booze, even Coca-Cola, only to come running back into our demons' comforting arms after a few short weeks.

But we thought we'd lend a hand to some of our favorite people in the Houston music scene by suggesting some possible New Year's resolutions for them. Hey, if we can't help ourselves, at least we can help somebody.

Mathew Knowles — Put a glove on it: Just before their 31st wedding anniversary, the parents of Houston's favorite daughter announced their divorce, mostly due to the fact that Beyoncé's drill sergeant-esque father/manager can't keep it in his pants. Mathew Knowles is the subject of a paternity suit filed by actress Alexsandra Wright. Cheatin' is one thing, but if you're gonna do it, at least CYA. Err, make that cover your junk.

What's the difference between Mathew Knowles and Tiger Woods? Not much, ­apparently.
What's the difference between Mathew Knowles and Tiger Woods? Not much, ­apparently.

Matt Brownlie — Quit all other music projects, devote entire life to Jandek cover band: Brownlie, singer/guitarist of Bring Back the Guns/Groceries, wooed pretty much every critic in the city with his performance as tortured Austin musician Daniel Johnston in Catastrophic Theatre's Life Is Happy and Sad. We think he's found a new calling. Up next he should tackle the life of reclusive yet prolific artist Jandek. The project shall be called Worthless Recluse.

Urbane Guerilla Sound System — Learn the Wa-Watusi: The masterminds behind the funnest Friday night in music will learn the '60s fad dances that accompany every record they own and play during Fistful of Soul, from The Madison to the 1,000 Dances in Wilson Pickett's song.

Ramon Medina — Take a break from the Internet: Medina is a tireless champion of the Houston music scene, and he's also probably the most fecund commenter on the Houston Press's music blog, Rocks Off. And also the Hands Up Houston message board. And 29-95.com. And Free Press Houston. It's great that Medina has embraced the pervasiveness of the Internet, especially to promote what he sees as Houston's musical attributes, but sometimes you just need to Put. The. Laptop. Down.

Roky Moon and BOLT! — Finish writing rock opera: Roky Moon and BOLT will finish their first rock opera, about a promiscuous alien who comes to earth and tries to assimilate into mankind by dressing in glittery clothing and platform boots. The alien becomes a rock star whose music brings hope to the masses on the eve of the end of the world before they wildly tear him to pieces in a Rock and Roll Suicide. Oh wait, that's the plot to Ziggy Stardust. Whoops.

NEWS FEED

Last Saturday, Houston said goodbye to hardcore act The Jonbenét as they played their final show ever over at Walter's on Washington in front of a sweaty and nostalgia-drunk crowd. They ran through 15 songs from their career and were joined onstage by former bassist Chris Goodwin. The band came out of Sugar Land in 2003 and went on to play shows with legendary acts such as Integrity and release two well-received albums that firmly implanted them in Houston hardcore lore.

ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons made a surprise appearance at the Boxmasters gig at Fitzgerald's the same night, coming onstage to chat with the band's lead singer, actor Billy Bob Thornton, during the band's set at the Heights venue. Sadly, Gibbons did not pick up an ax and lead the band through a rendition of "Tush." He left the house before the band began their encore, dashing our hopes of a photo op. Craig Hlavaty

LOCAL MOTION

Top Sellers
Sound Exchange
1846 Richmond, 713-666-5555
www.soundexchangehouston.com

1. Nurse With Wound, Paranoia in Hi-Fi (CD)

2. GRISTLEISM (SOUNDBOX)

3. Fred McDowell, Fred McDowell (LP)

4. Nazxul, Iconoclast (CD)

5. John Fahey, America (2xLP)

6. Lightning Bolt, Earthly Delights (LP/CD)

7. Sparklehorse & Fennesz, In the Fishtank 15 (LP/CD)

8. V.A., Forge Your Own Chains (LP)

9. HIRAX, El Rostro de la Muerte (CD)

10. YETI, #8

AIRWAVES

Airwaves
Hot 95.7
KKHH, 95.7 FM
Top songs, December 21; data from www.yes.com

1. Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"

2. Kesha, "Tick Tick"

3. Sean Kingston, "Replay"

4. David Guetta feat. Akon, "Sexy Chick"

5. Owl City, "Fireflies"

6. Britney Spears, "3"

7. Drake feat. Kanye West, Eminem & Lil Wayne, "Forever"

8. Cascada, "Evacuate the Dancefloor"

9. Beyoncé, "Sweet Dreams"

10. Pitbull feat. Akon, "Shut It Down"

(Lists compiled by Chris Gray)

 
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