Right-Wing Porn

Blogger disseminates filth.

POLITICAL ANIMALS

Right-Wing Porn
Blogger disseminates filth

By Richard Connelly

Melissa Clouthier is a chiropractor from The Woodlands who blogs the right-wing line for the Houston Chronicle and various Web sites.

She's a big Tea Partier, and she was highly, highly offended that President Obama used the term "teabaggers" in an interview for a forthcoming book. For all we know, the interview might have been taking place when innocent right-wing nuts were proudly proclaiming themselves to be teabaggers, but Clouthier is mad.

So she decided to ­distribute some hard-core porn.

Her blog item titled "President Obama Disrespects Presidency," which is pretty hilarious in itself, featured her faux outrage.

The president uses a graphic sexual term and then bemoans the lack of civility in America? This man is a flaming hypocrite.

The term "tea bagger" is vile — the act itself is no more or less disgusting than any other sexual activity. To describe people who honestly don't like some policies with this term is incomprehensible. Try imaging a Republican or conservative consistently using the term "blow jobbers". What? That bothers you?

You gotta love "no more or less disgusting than any other sexual activity."

Not content with using a pornographic term like "blow jobbers" in her lecture on civility, Clouthier provided a detailed description of teabagging from Wikipedia.

Apparently not sure if her readers would wade through that entire paragraph, she then threw in a graphic picture of a man and woman demonstrating the ball-sucking, complete with hard-on...(We are far too demure to post such an awful, awful NSFW illustration.)

Someone brought it to the attention of Wonkette, and the commenters flocked to Clouthier's column.

Some highlights:

"That's disgusting?? Then how come do I have a pant full of bone right now?"

— "Up next, a graphic depicting a Santorum"

— "don't think I'm getting it. Could you put up more pictures please?"

— "Do you have any pics with her wearing stiletto heels and a french-maid outfit?"

Ah, political discourse. Thanks, Clouthier!!!
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CRIME

A Rare Female (Alleged) Child-Porn User

By Richard Connelly

It's not every day you get word of a woman being nabbed on child-porn charges, especially a woman allegedly working on her own and not with a sicko husband or boyfriend.

But in the small Brazoria County town of Richwood, police busted Carrie Louise Kelly, 29, for sending a Florida man more than 100 pictures of kids "undressing and performing sex acts," according to the Richwood PD via the Brazosport Facts.

In America, of course, we don't judge people on the basis of their mugshot alone. At least the people wearing robes don't, or aren't supposed to. The rest of us are a little freer with our rushes to judgment, and Kelly's mugshot...well, it could be Exhibit A in her trial.

Incredibly guilty look on her face? Check. Hint of a tattoo that indicates a ton of body ink? Yep. (Not that tats = child porn, of course, but they won't help with your "Porn? Me?!?" defense either when you get in front of some conservative Brazoria County jury.)

Carl Rusnok, spokesman for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement's central region, tells Hair Balls it's very unusual to see a woman arrested on child-porn charges.

"I don't think stats exist, but I see press releases from all over the central part of the country, from U.S. Attorneys, local police, whatever, and nothing comes to mind in terms of a woman," he says. "It's all men."

ICE's online child-porn press release archives tend to bear that out.

According to the Facts, Florida authorities tipped off the Richwood police. A Palm Beach cop working undercover received the pictures from Kelly, Richwood Police Chief Glenn Patton said.

The children in the pictures have not been identified.

"Kelly does not appear to have children of her own and worked at a tattoo parlor in Clute, Patton said," according to the Facts. "When interviewed, she said some of the pictures were of herself as a child and she did not know where the others came from, he said."

Rusnok continues to be baffled by people who trade kiddie porn over the net.

"Even if the guy you're dealing with is not an undercover cop, if he gets picked up then everything you've traded with him is going to be on his computer, and they're going to come after you," he says.
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DOING IT DAILY

There is a ton of new stuff each day on the Houston Press blogs; you're only getting a taste of it here in the print edition. Head to http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs (or "/rocks" or "/eating") and under "Tools" on the top-right side of the page, use the "categories" drop-down menu to find these stories:

Sports

With the Astros imploding before our eyes, we wondered if Roy Oswalt could sue his teammates for nonsupport; we explored the myth that owner Drayton McLane is not cheap, and pondered just how in the hell the team could be outdrawing the successful Tampa Rays. In the interests of public service, we also featured the ten best infield mudwrestling videos from the Kentucky Derby.

Crime

Michelle Thomas stood up for women everywhere when she stabbed a man with some scissors because he was a lousy lay. The limpdick should be happy she didn't go full Bobbitt on him. We also broke down the most half-assed robbery of a pizza place ever, from Missouri City.

Immigration

We announced the Village Voice Media's ongoing chainwide project that will examine all sides of the immigration debate that has been sparked by Arizona's new law. We looked at a protest at Minute Maid Park, the actual nuts-and-bolts cost of deporting illegal aliens, some common sense on the subject in Aggieland and then — just to mix things up from the Hispanic angle — the red tape maze encountered by a Norwegian citizen trying to stay in the U.S. after being here 17 years.

TV Land

American Idol continued to pare down its contestant list, and we rated their judgment ("This season will likely come down to Lee, Mike and Crystal. I can live with that"), Glee's second-half-of-the-season slump was at least temporarily halted ("Quote of the Week: 'Can you even feel your feet?' — Brittany to Artie") and we also adamantly declared that anyone not rooting for the Cowboys on The Amazing Race is a rotten bastard.

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