2010 Turkeys of the Year

Metro chief Frank Wilson is our biggest gobbler.

Michael Brown, star of the once-ubiquitous Hand Center ads, managed to get himself arrested on yet another domestic-violence charge. This is despite his wholesome, infant-dandling commercials, and his prominence in the Houston Chronicle society pages. He coulda been a Society Turkey contender, he coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what he is. Only because we didn't have that category this year.

State Representative Debbie Riddle made a serious run for overall Turkey of the Year with a maniacally dedicated obsession with un-whitish Texas residents. So eager was she to file a clone of Arizona's "show me your papers" bill in the upcoming legislative session that she camped out to be first on line when pre-filing began, like some Who fan trying for tickets in the '70s. Unlike Gary Kubiak, we feel safe in saying, "Wait till next year!" to Representative Riddle.

Finally, since it was an election year, the potential picks were heavy on the politicos. And Rick Perry tried his damnedest to do what no one since Tom DeLay has done. And by that we don't mean spout inane Limbaugh-echoing rhetoric (he did do that, to be sure). No, we mean becoming a two-time Turkey of the Year winner. Much like the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins always open the champagne whenever the last unbeaten NFL team goes down each season, DeLay can now crack open the Dom, put on some sequined jumpsuits and go dancing with his own stars.

Celebrate good times, Hammer.


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