9/11 Idiocy, To Go

Bob at this time we do not have any hang tags for domestic. However y\our [sic] domestic will not be tagged at this time.

To gauge how important parking is at Raintree, the listed rules take up the entire Web site.

Dianne Josephs says her neighbor circles the complex several times a day to report open garages and cars parked in driveways. Once, she reported him for having his garage open, and she says he flipped her daughter off with both hands. "I wanna buy it [the house], but the people here are so mean!!" squealed Josephs. "They yell at me and say, 'You're nothing but trouble.'...but I question authority. When I think it's crazy, I question it."
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DOING IT DAILY

There’s tons of stuff each day on the Houston Press blogs; you’re only getting a taste of it here in the print edition. Head to blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs (or “/rocks” or “/eating” or “/artattack”).

Crime

We provided daily and entertaining coverage of the assault trial of TV-ad star Dr. Michael Brown, featuring a guest appearance by love machine Jeff Bagwell and also the alleged use of a humanitarian award as a weapon. A Methodist Hospital employee and her friends stole cancer patients' financial information and used it to buy a Maserati, a BMW and lots of Gucci. And the family of a child rapist who was beaten to death in prison were allowed to continue their lawsuit against guards, who they claim put the man in a cell with a violent psychotic, who they permitted to wear steel-toed boots.

Sports

The Houston Astros have become so irrelevant that we dared readers to provide the first names for the last names in their starting lineup; few could. We provided a helpful interactive chart of Houston sports teams' suckage in the 21st Century, and we analyzed in detail the alleged Sarah Palin hook-up with former Michigan basketball star Glen Rice.

Food

We explored which gin, and which brand of tonic, makes the best version of the iconic drink, and we tried Malibu Black, so you don't have to. Inspired by Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls, we listed five other foods with pervy names. We wondered whether anybody was going to contribute to Dublin Dr Pepper's legal defense fund, and we commended the food-scene folks who lent a hand to help wildfire victims. Finally, we did a four-part series from a trawler in the Gulf of Mexico, where we caught plenty of beautiful snapper and bonito, ike-jime'd it and ate it. We're still alive, by the way.

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