The Real World

I wasnt hoping it would fall when I went, I was excited after seeing positive reviews from Houston area food critics. I gotta tell you I'm at the point where I've become extremely cynical of any review that comes from a critic and not a regular Joe. El Real is awful. I was extremely disappointed with the bland and dry puffy chicken taco, the mediocre pork tamale, and the terrible tasting beef enchiladas. How do you screw up beef enchiladas? My girlfriend and I paid $35 for two plated and were only able to eat a third of it. El Real is definitely not worthy of any praise nor your money.

The one time I went, I was surprised at just how bad the food was. Everything tasted extremely salty. Just not edible. The chips were chewy because they were not cooked properly. The chili sauce on the enchiladas was Wolf Brand chili. Rice was all dried out and the beans were overly salty. I ended up leaving 90% of the food on the plate. The taco shell was falling apart at the first bite cause the meat was so greasy. I didn't find anything that could even be considered average. This place won't last long. It is just awful

After reading this review I laughed my ass off and I agree with every person who rip Katharine Shilcutt who is arguably the worst food critic known to man. This is prolly one of the worst reviews I have ever read on a restaurant that everyone agrees is going to fail within the next six months. I also shame houston press for allowing her to write a review that is clearly biased and even takes a low blow at another establishment for hiring people. Poaching employees thats a joke because I think you and walsh prolly poach. Everyone knows that Walsh used to be a food critic at houston press so Im willing to bet that somewhere in his tenure at HP yall worked together. If you think El "Crappo" is a "landmark restaurant" you clearly have not had quality food of any type. I'd rather eat from the taco truck down the road then that place again. I wanted to believe they could make tex mex work but cashwell jsut stick to the reef and get out of the mexican food business.

Oh one more thing as I was driving home from 1308 tonight I notice el crappo was voted best tex mex by any guess... HOUSTON PRESS hahahahaha.. I wonder if walsh had pull on that award??? Thanks Katharine for the laugh u truly made my day.. :)

Big review, and I thought it pretty fairly balanced and informative overall. Well done!But I have a point of contention that I hope you'll address from a journalist's perspective:

You write: "I understand that when a certain new Tex-Mex place opened down the street, it poached almost all of El Real's staff. It's a tribute to El Real, however, that most of the staff came back mere days later."

You "understand" this? How exactly? Did you hear it from someone? Someone at El Real? Did you witness it? Did a waiter who was 'poached' tell you this?

While that sentence is a convenient bridge to your next part of the review, and weaves well with your general hopeful theme for the restaurant, I don't think it's accurate. El Real was overstaffed at the beginning, the biz was inconsistent, and as such much of the waitstaff were motivated enough to leave on their own. So whither the 'poaching' charge and slight against that other restaurant?

El Real needs to have the Texans games up on that big screen on Sundays, maybe a Sunday Texans Brunch Buffet.......I'd be there in a heartbeat...

As an umpteenth generation native Texan and fan of Robb Walsh, I waited with excitement for El Real to open it's doors. We went for my birthday in March and it was simply SAD. I would never turn my nose up at a Margarita, but ours were undrinkable. My son's flautas/taquitos whatever you want to cal them were inedible. The queso was just okay. I was so disappointed. The waitstaff was as poor as the meal. My husband and I always say we can forgive bad service, but never bad food. The only bright spot was the memoribalia. I knew both Leo and the Tijerina Family and miss those restaurants. We eat Mexican food every Friday night, no matter what city in Texas we are in. I will wait one year and give them one more try. There is a 5% chance they will still be open then.

Since moving back to Houston several years ago, I have used the Houston Press as my restaurant guide. The reviews have proven to be reliable, with an eclectic mix of restaurants.This Saturday afternoon I dragged my husband to El Real Tex Mex Cafe with minimum expectations, The review was not exactly harsh, but I did not know if I would spend half my time chasing down the wait staff. My fears were unjustified, We were greeted warmly, and because it was right before dinner hour we were able to pick our table. The wonderful, fragrant salsa and chips were at our table Immediately with our server right behind. The server was professional and while he was busy, we did not suffer. The server asked us had we been there before, when we acknowledged that we had not, he proceed to explain some of the unique menu items. He had my husband at BURGER, which was exactly as it was described, And every single bit of it was devoured. I ordered one smoked chicken puff taco, and the Enchiladas Burunda,I was worried that it was going to be dry and tasteless, wrong again! The manager even had us sample the Margarita, which was wonderful, it was obvious that they were made without all that sweet garbage that is so overused in many restaurants. After the meal, the manager asked questions and seemed genuinely interested in our suggests. OVERALL a great meal and great service!

What I don't understand is everyone has been criticizing the same things over & over and why hasnt it been fixed? The comment about the staff leaving then returning raises some questions. It sounds to me there are serious education issues that the principals don't have time to address.

I finally went a month ago. My tamale plate came out inedible, dried out, the beans were a hockey puck, the rice looked like uncooked parboiled package stuff.

I didn't ask for it to be fixed. I'm one of those diners once something comes to me that bad, it ruins my meal completely.

My girlfriend however had a another go, the second plate was just as bad.

We want ElReal to be successful. But I always wonder what is in an owners head that they would allow bad product to be served in their name. I never understood that, especially with these talented owners. Very perplexing problem.

I'm a loyalist. I'll stay with LaMex.

Wow, you must be talking about a different restaurant than I visited. Completely over rated, don't get people's obsession to this place and it's trite cuisine. I'll pass!

I have patronized a handful of the old-school Tex-Mex institutions (Matt's El Rancho in Austin, Larry's in Richmond, Felix before it closed, a few others), and not a single one of them gets it right every single time, and most of them do a few dishes better than others. El Real sorta had it coming for selling itself as some kind of savior, and putting an idea into the heads of people that it would cook the supreme archetype of a cuisine that is by definition rustic and a little rough around the edges anyway. El Real makes good food, I've enjoyed it myself, but come on. This is Tex-Mex. They're aiming for a target that moves with every customer's personal nostalgic conception of their greatest Tex-Mex memory. They're never going to achieve that but they can still put out a good plate and that's all anybody should reasonably expect.

As anyone who has read the text on the back of Leo's menu knows, as a teenager Reynosa rode with that quintessential romantic revolutionary hero Francisco Villa (who began his life as Doroteo Arango and is best remembered as Pancho Villa). Photographs of the soi-disant general and his Villistas decorated the walls of the restaurant

This place is delicious. The berunda enchiladas with a fried egg and the burger are amazing! I haven't had a regular margarita yet, but I've had the bartender make me specialty ones that have been very good. I will continue going back for sure

The thought of anything called "chili gravy" on top of greasy yellow cheese on top of a anglicized "enchilada" makes me gag. There's a reason no one else makes this shit anymore.

I can sum up my visit to El Real in one word: SALT. My entire meal was so ridiculously salty it was almost inedible, but I know better than to send food back at a restaurant, lest my meal end up with more ingredients than it started with. I was incredibly disappointed because I went in completely open minded, expecting the food to probably need some refinement (every new place has to tweak the food a bit), but severly oversalting the food is just unacceptable at even the most pedestrian of establishments. They also need to do something about the rancid, acrid stench that emanates from the chip warmer over by the restrooms. The unpleasant smell is overpowering and unappetizing.

The " Real Guacamole" at Yelapa Playa Mexicana kills anything served at El Real ...

This seemed to focus on too many other things than the food, it kind of would get into the dishes and then meander off on a tangent about tex mex history. My impression of this place, has been meh, which also mirrors the attitudes of the employees too.

In the 1950's a Mexican director/actor compiled many of the stories about Pancho Villa and presented them in, I believe, three films. Vignettes of varying time. I would love to see El Real have some of its staff with connections to Mexico track down these DVD's and show those on the big screen. I caught them a couple of years back on Turner Classic Movies and regret not having saved them:

http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title...

I think El Real has gotten better with every visit. If it's just me, or two of us, I sit at the bar and drink beer. Thus service and drinks are always fine. And all I know is, every time I order those incredible beef fajita nachos, just like big hair in Dallas, I feel closer to Heaven. Truly the most comforting dish in Houston.

I've been here close to a dozen times so far, and I have no affiliation with this place. Katharine nailed what this place is, so far. At times i have had the best tamales, enchiladas in Houston. And the burger is great, as well as the frito pie. But the last two trips my food (and others) were lackluster. The beans didn't even have that baconey lard taste. And it is so disappointing telling folks they have to try this place out, only to be served half-assed renditions of their food. To be fair to them, I have sent emails to them about my last two trips and they responded back immediately saying they would work on fixing the problem. I hope they do, because when you eat there on a good day, it is easily a place you'd heartily recommend.

Let the hating begin....it's so strange how the mention of some restaurants and/or some names are so incendiary. Y'all be weird folks sometimes.

Now, this review seems to me to be very fair. Not hatin' on the place for its mistakes nor glossing over them, either. It amuses me to see who reads what into articles and how far reading comprehension has gone down in most peoples abilities.

All that being said, why WOULDN'T any of you WANT to see El Real succeed??? Oh, except for that whole weird jealousy thing going on. That aside, I imagine most Houstonians would love to see this place do well...for several reasons: 1)They had the respect and the cojones to take on a landmark like the old Tower theatre and try to save it and make something GOOD of it. 2)They have the respect for old school Tex-Mex to try to save what was great about this cuisine (bite me Diana Kennedy) and offer it up to this city. Is it always perfect?? No, of course not! But when it's good, it's fantastic!!

I, personally, grew up eating at El Fenix and spent many hours sitting over margs at old Leo's on Shepherd...with its crooked floors and dank dining room (we called it Flea-o's) and eating their fantastic Tex-Mex meals. I'm thrilled that these guys have revived that genre of food and I will support them in this endeavor all I can. Actually, now that I think about it, thank you Robb and Bryan and Bill for doing this. I just don't see why you assholes can't let it be...enjoy it or shut up. Sincerely.a

Why would you start a sentence proclaiming "...the food here is good -- very good..." and then immediately follow up with a full paragraph on how the kitchen reliably "mangles" the food until you can't "appreciate" how good it is. THAT MEANS THE FOOD ISN'T GOOD.

I hate seeing local food critics struggle to find ways to stay complimentary towards El Real. I pointed out to Allison Cook (who actually agreed) in her review that you local reviewers are just too close to the owners to ever write an objective review, and that's terribly disappointing.

These guys started with every possible advantage -- loads of investment cash, nationally-recognized names, one of the living authorities on Tex-Mex, years of experience and a high-profile location -- and have somehow wasted it all. Quit trying to sugarcoat things and just call El Real out for being, by far, the worst high-profile restaurant to open in town in the last several years.

I went there twice when it first opened and got bad service (no water, the wrong dish, someone else's check), overcooked food and no apologies. Took several months off and went back last week. The food was dry, the drinks were gross, and even though there were only two other occupied tables (9pm on a weeknight), incredibly slow service. By the end of the meal, we decided to time how long it took from asking for the check to signing the receipt. It took 29 minutes and 2 follow-up requests. Every single person at the table ran out of water in that time. No refills.

There are literally dozens of better and cheaper Tex-Mex restaurants in Houston, and the only Tex-Mex around that can justify charging El Real's prices is Original Ninfa's. If El Real had any other owners, you, Allison, and the Robb Walsh of 10 years ago would be tearing this place a new one.

To borrow a phrase from your headline's namesake: Stop being polite and start getting real.

If this weren't a Walsh-Caswell production, you wouldn't be trying so hard to like it and find the "good" in what is a disappointing restaurant. I do applaud your fairness at calling out the staff's weaknesses and undrinkable margaritas. There are so many wonderful Tex-Mex restaurants in Houston that do almost everything well. It's shameful that reviewers for major publications seem hellbent on making El Real succeed, when, in fact, it may not deserve to. Use your platform to honor the places who have done Tex Mex with respect for years and the many small, out of the way joints who might flourish with your review. Start with La Mexicana, right around the corner from El Real, with its vast menu of authentic Tex Mex specialties, great breakfasts, superb drinks and dignified waiters, many of whom have worked there for years.

Katharine, you seem in denial. I know you want this place to be good - so did I - but the truth is you get far better tex mex at the original Ninfas or at Teotihuacan. The meal I had there was borderline disgusting, the margaritas were awful and it's all overpriced for what it is. El Real just doesn't cut it.

I've had good luck at El Real. Generally drop off on my way home--a commute by bus, so there's no need to tip a valet. At that hour, the place is not packed, so quality & service are fine. (Yes, I know they need to handle a packed house.) Don't care for the margs but St Arnold's in a chilled mug is mighty fine--& I even went with ice tea during the worst of the hot weather.

Mostly I love the classic Tex Mex that I grew up with--but think innovation is great. I do agree that the decor needs some work. What about more lights criss-crossing the ceiling? With maybe some papel picado to get that fiesta in the plaza effect? Better movies on occasion? Great! (Oh, the music is generally excellent.)

Overall I agree will most of this, but I must say that since opening they seem to have improved. Alot of the early mis-steps have been ironed out, especially with the food and margs.

Very fair review. About how I have felt about my visits. Fair.