By Chris Lane
By Jeff Balke
By Aaron Reiss
By Angelica Leicht
By Dianna Wray
By Aaron Reiss
By Camilo Smith
By Craig Malisow
Por Favor, Nanny
Houston moms help the help
By Richard Connelly
First World Problems, part XVII: Communicating with your nanny. A hassle!
Luckily, three plucky Houston mothers have banded together to put out a new book called Por Favor Nanny, Please Make Dinner, which comes complete with a Por Favor Nanny Web site.
We are three busy moms who are raising our families in Houston, Texas. Like most mothers, creating healthy meals at home while juggling the busy schedules of our families can be very time consuming.
Some of the wonderful women who care for our children and style our homes with their impeccable tidiness speak a different language. Because of this language gap, asking for help in the kitchen is difficult.
That's Catherine Chastain, Jennifer Kearns and Heather Talbert, who are about to launch the book and site.
One reader wrote us calling the thing "racist" and saying it "seems to take the attitude that the 'nanny' is a complete idiot."
We asked the authors about that, and via e-mail Talbert said the accusation is completely off-base:
The nanny can be anyone, the mom, the dad, the babysitter, the housekeeper, the grandparent or the nanny hired to help the family. A nanny is a trusted member of the house who helps keep things running smoothly when mom and/or dad are away. I can't think of any more honorable profession than one that invites a person into your home to help take care of your family. What a blessing these women and I'm sure a few men are to the families they work for.
So you need to learn Spanish phrases for your mom?
The Web site does offer some insight into the book. Things to apparently remember about your nannies, given some of the choices on the "how do you say" page: You need to keep a sharp eye on the money, and the germs. My god, the germs!
Among the phrases translated:
• Please bring me back the receipt. (Por favor, traeme el recibo.)
• How much did you spend? (¿Cuanto gasto?)
• Please wash hands before preparing food. (Por favor, lavate las manos antes de preparar la comida.)
• Please wash hands after...using the restroom, coughing or sneezing. (Por favor, lavate las manos después de... usar el baño, toser o estornudar.)
There will be a series of book signings around town, at such places as the Blue Willow Bookshop and the Bering's on Westheimer.
So if you've been having trouble getting the nanny to understand what it is you want, act now!
Or for this reason, offered by Talbert: "I know there are a lot of people who come to Texas for business that don't speak English. If a child comes home from school asking for lasagna and mom doesn't read English, isn't it nice to have Por Favor Nanny, Please Make Dinner available with the Spanish translation?"
The Five Worst Bass Pro Shop Racist Quotes
By Richard Connelly
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has filed suit against the national Bass Pro Shop chain here in Houston, alleging it routinely discriminated against minorities in its hiring practices.
The nine-page complaint offers these gems:
5. In 2006, the human resources manager in a Louisiana store asked the manager why a qualified applicant was rejected. He "really doesn't fit our profile," was the answer. How so? The HR manager asked.
"We don't hire niggers," came the alleged blunt reply.
4. In one of the Houston locations in 2005, the manager told the HR department "it was getting a little dark in here, you need to hire some white people."
3. In 2008, an employee in Indiana was regularly seen discarding applications if he believed the name "sounded like a nigger name."
"Niggers steal and do not make good employees," the manager reportedly said.
2. The manager at a Houston store "would, on a daily basis, use the words 'wetback,' 'Pedro' and 'Mexican' to refer to people of Hispanic origin.
1. An Indiana manager said, "Hispanics should be shot at the border by the border patrol."
Bass Pro Shops: Sensitivity training, coming soon!!!
NASA Drafts on Star Wars' Heat Again
By Richard Connelly
NASA officials hyped a press conference recently about a new discovery via the way they know best: Trot out the Star Wars references.
People connected with the movie and SFX gurus Industrial Light & Magic were on the panel to discuss how the Kepler space telescope had discovered a planet with two suns. Because, you know, the non-scientist's expertise was needed to explain to the media how there was once a science-fiction film with two suns.
It wasn't the first time NASA has played the Star Wars card, and it likely won't be the last. And we just don't mean the photo ops or the tie-ins between the movie franchise and space-museum displays.
Here are five times NASA's played the Star Wars card in press releases:
5. A Saturn moon looks vaguely like the Death Star
From a release last year: "Cassini collected the data on Feb. 13, during its closest flyby of the moon, which is marked by an enormous scar called Herschel Crater and resembles the Death Star from Star Wars."
This is the rationalization of slavery and bigotry. Sorry to say, but this book is nothing but commands to check up on and order your subject around. Are there any phrases for "What are your goals in life" or "What can I do to help you raise my kids?" SMH...
Por favor white woman, quit being so stuck up put you ipad down and spend time with your children instead of writing books to help other airheads like you avoid being a real mom and PLEASE do not disguise it with "these wonderful women" its BS ..this is offensive, racist and shows how shallow yall are.
So Talbert you're going to ask your mom and dad to bring you the receipt and if they washed their hands before they prepared dinner for you and your children?
You hire people to care for your children and you can't even communicate with them? You need more than a book. Stupid rich people>
Don't hire illegal alien nannies and you won't have to worry about bending over backwards to communicate with them in their language.
Don't hire illegal alien nannies and you won't have to worry about bending over backwards to communicate in their language.
"white woman", quit being so stuck up put you ipad down and spend time with your children instead of writing books to help other airheads like you avoid being a real mom and PLEASE do not disguise it with "these wonderful women" its BS ..this is offensive, racist"
The hypocrites live amongst us, people.