Michael Brown's Sex Tips

Give it up to your man

Toe, Camel: Encouraged. We find it helps promote taco sales, for some reason.

Wings: Can be as a crappy as possible, as long as other guidelines (see boobage, shirts, and toe, camel for further information) are followed.


Michael Brown, sex expert.
photo by Mandy Oaklander
Michael Brown, sex expert.

Counterfeit-Singles Plot Foiled

By John Nova Lomax

A College Station teen was arrested recently after he attempted to pass off two counterfeit bills in the cafeteria of A&M Consolidated High School.

According to the Bryan-College Station Eagle, police say that 17-year-old Dustin Dominique Aleman gave a friend a stack of five one-dollar bills — three of them real and two of them bogus — and asked the friend to get change from the lunch lady.

That's right. This young criminal mastermind went to the trouble of forging one dollar bills. Soon enough, should all go according to plan, he would have magically transformed $3 into $5! Mwahahaha!

Nope. Lex Luthor he ain't.

Despite the fact that the kid is a rapper who goes by Young Spliff, he is evidently not much of a Devin the Dude fan, or he would have known to aim a little higher with his bogus green.

The friend offered to give Aleman a $5 bill from his own pocket, but Aleman, being a good buddy, told his friend, no, the change has to come from the lunch lady.

Evidently that lunch lady had been around the block a few times because she checked the dollar bills for authenticity. After marking them with a pen, she found that two of the bills flunked the test.

Police were summoned. Aleman was busted and is charged with state jail felony forgery of a financial instrument, punishable by two years hard time: one for each dollar he attempted to score from the cafeteria.

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HE IS A SICK AND EXTREMELY DISTURBED INDIVIDUAL!!! What kind of father would say those kind of twisted things to a child. I wouldn't even want to hear that from my father as an adult. Sure....it's easy to just label him another "sex addict" and call it a night, but this man's issues run way deeper. I hope they lock him up before his children inherit his twisted ways or before he abuses yet another wife.


Wow just wow! Just when I thought that this joker and his exploits couldn't get any weirder...


Sort of creepy in a creepy sort of way. I have to though, he needs to stop getting married and women need to stop marrying him. I have a feeling he could use some serious professional help. He has had an addiction problem in the past and continues to abuse women on some level, so help might be in order.


This "letter" gets major side-eye action from me...it's borderline--or maybe over the border--weird...what daughter would refer to a "technical manual" of sex tips written by her own father? (O_O)


He's too easy a target. So I can't see kicking a person when they are obviously about as down as they can get. He needs to regisgn himself to a single man's life and stop abusing women, though. There's no excuse to hit a woman.

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