Hand Doc and Strippers

1. The Sports Hater

I think we all get that there are more important things in this world than football — well, most of us, anyway. But, you don't see me bitching when you tweet all night about every step in the preparation of your perfect dinner or Dancing with the Stars or the 76th televised Republican debate. Twitter is the purest form of democracy. Everyone gets a say and if you don't like it, you don't have to look. But when you know that a game is on and you still decide to tell us all that the game we love is stupid and you just don't get it, you don't sound elevated or cool. You just sound bitter. It's why God invented un-follow.


She's 57, Sexing Teen in Van

By John Nova Lomax

Port Arthur police say they caught Emma Jean Hardy, a 57-year-old employee of the town's Memorial High School, having sex with a 17-year-old student in a van on a Sunday night.

According to published reports, a Port Arthur cop investigated a suspicious vehicle parked on the city's très romantique seawall near downtown. On looking inside, he claims to have seen Hardy engaging in sexual activities with the student.

Police say that Hardy was not a teacher at the school, and the school's Web site lists a Jean Hardy as its registrar.

Since the student is of legal age, Hardy is not charged with any form of statutory rape. Instead, she is charged with improper relationship between an educator and a student, a second-degree felony punishable by two to 20 years in prison. If convicted, she would not have to register as a sex offender.

The student himself was charged with public lewdness and was released after posting $250 bail.

Now that she's been charged with a crime, Hardy's Facebook page seems a little bit creepy.

It displays a woman obsessed with the sports teams at her high school, as well as the continuing careers of Port Arthur's college and pro athletes, and while there's nothing wrong with that, a young woman laughingly chided on the content of her folders thusly: "You and these Butt shots Mrs. Hardy!! I ♥ THEM! =)"

"Lol," came the registrar's response.

Elsewhere, Hardy can be seen celebrating with Memorial's players on the field after what looked like big wins. In those pics, the jolly-faced redhead looks like nothing so much as the world's oldest cheerleader ready for a post-game date with the star player.

Hardy also has more than 1,200 friends, many of whom seem to be either current students or recent graduates at her school. In short, she seems like a woman who wanted a do-over for her high school years, and if police are correct, that includes the lover's lane make-out sessions.

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