Pregnancy Puzzler

Lactation not related to giving birth.

After we called Gilmore, a source told us that the judge subsequently issued an e-mail chastising her colleagues, apparently suggesting they, or someone in their charge, leaked this Watergate-proportioned story. (Our source said her e-mail referred to the Press as a "wag" paper. We wondered if she may have actually used "rag," because we're much more used to being called a "rag" than a "wag." The jury's still out on that one — hey-oh!).

Personally, we don't see anything offensive in these paintings. But then again, we also don't see why it would be a huge deal to move, or take down, the paintings if they really offended Gilmore and others so much. What we don't understand is why any judge would feel the need to hide his or her feelings about a freaking painting. Would anyone really lose respect for a judge who said that a painting was tacky/offensive/idiotic? As a matter of fact, we kind of dig Ellison criticizing the work of a dude whose paintings are in the Smithsonian and the Musée d'Art Moderne in Paris, because many snooty types (and outright poseurs) will jump on any such bandwagon.

Ellison told us: "There's a good bit of art that is in the Smithsonian and even more important museums that I think would be inappropriate for a jury assembly room. Obviously, we have a history that is replete with many very unfortunate images, and whether that's the right image to put up in a jury assembly room — where people are actually forced to come — unlike a museum, where they may choose to come, I think we need to be especially sensitive about the message we send with artwork. And for that reason, I think it was an unfortunate choice."

That lactation has nothing to do with your pregnancy, ma'am.
Greg Houston
That lactation has nothing to do with your pregnancy, ma'am.

We think it's a sign of character to stand up and voice your opinion about a perceived injustice, even though you may be in the minority, and there may be bigger forces against you. For example, some people might wonder what the hell a sitting federal judge was doing giving a private tour to a membership organization that doesn't let homosexuals and atheists into leadership positions. Some people might recoil at the notion of a bunch of adults telling children it's okay to discriminate on the basis of religion or sexual orientation, decrying it as patently un-American and downright hateful.

We wonder what would happen if ­Gilmore had received an e-mail like that. We're guessing she'd probably just hit "delete."

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If lactation is not pregnancy related, then we need to re-write all of the biology books. I want to be a judge one day so I can play God, and when a mother's breasts begin filling with milk because she has given birth, I can say 'Well, it's your fault for being a woman. Deal with it'.

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