His standup routine includes his take on older men dating younger women. ''What 55-year-old man is going to get some girl who is 20 and thinks she likes you? She wants your house…no, you want a woman who understands the signs of a stroke! A woman who has your medication in her purse!'' he offers. ''You want a woman that, if you go to dinner with her and your lip curls up, she’ll get you to a hospital. A 20-year-old will say, 'Stop making those faces at me!' And then you all stroked out for the rest of your life!'' 8 p.m.1894 Grand Opera House, 2020 Postoffice, Galveston. For information, call 800-821-1894 or visit www.thegrand.com. $30 to $58.
Fri., March 30, 8 p.m., 2012