By Chris Lane
By Jeff Balke
By Aaron Reiss
By Angelica Leicht
By Dianna Wray
By Aaron Reiss
By Camilo Smith
By Craig Malisow
Highlights from Hair Balls
The NSFW Sexts That Got Teacher Fired
An Alief economics teacher (Really? Economics?) faces a felony charge of improper relationship with a student after authorities learned about lewd texts and illegal physical contact between him and a 17-year-old female student.
Jeffrey Nicholas Guzman, 32, got into the improper relationship last year when the student was a senior, court documents show. The documents also trace the apparent fact that Guzman knew what he was doing was wrong, and that the guy (allegedly) preferred the crude 'n' lewd approach when it came to sexting, as opposed to, say, more subtle allusions such as eating a peach or something from Leaves of Grass.
But what can you expect from an economics teacher? At least he didn't use graphs or PowerPoint (that we know about).
Court documents show Guzman taught at Alief ISD's Elsik High and that the student who had received the sexts — some of which allegedly featured Guzman "partially clothed" — complained to authorities.
They interviewed her in May and she told how Guzman drove to her apartment complex's parking lot, where they kissed and he stuck his fingers inside her clothing and touched her genitals.
Maybe Guzman took notice of the two child-booster seats in the car and had a sudden pang of conscience, or maybe not, but court documents say he stopped things midway through.
Actually, the complainant said, Guzman "was concerned someone might see them in the vehicle." So he drove a few miles away and started things up again, this time including — again, according to court documents — "grasp[ing] the complainant's hand in his and direct[ing] the complainant to touch the defendant's male sexual organ through the defendant's pants."
The victim tried to stop the contact, court documents say, and eventually succeeded.
The investigation then moved on to the sexts, which were allegedly sent and received around March.
This is what a 32-year-old dude in a position of power over a 17-year-old student feels is permissible to send to her: (Again, NSFW and certainly distasteful):
• "I have touched myself more than a few times thinking [about] that night. I want to fuck you"
• "I want to lay down and watch you take it deep in your mouth as I control your head"
• "I want to cum on my dick over and over again until you beg me to stop"
Again, these are from a grown, responsible adult to a teenager. All reasoning has flown out the window. But the degree to which a reader can be appalled is offset at least to some degree by imagining Guzman's reaction as the texts are read back to him by investigators in the cold light of day, as opposed to the frantic, horny, red-light putative privacy of the night.
The list goes on:
• "I want to fuck you like you've never been fucked"
• "I can still feel it all too. Your waist, back, breasts, ass, your mouth on me"...
Jesus, males of the species. Show some self-control. —Richard Connelly
Magic to the Rescue
Downtown Pavilions to be bought.
The company partly owned by LA Laker and Rocket-killer Magic Johnson has purchased the semi-troubled downtown Houston Pavilions, according to an announcement today.
Canyon-Johnson Urban Funds will take over the project, which covers three city blocks and includes the House of Blues, Forever XXI, McCormick & Schmick's and Lucky Strike.
The Johnson firm and the Midway company "will invest additional funds to revitalize the property," which has not quite taken off as the downtown-booster it was initially envisioned as a few years ago.
Steps have been announced before — NBC Sports, for instance, has said it's considering placing a studio there with a view to the city streets, so fans can get the unutterable thrill of standing in front of a camera waving a "Hi, Mom" sign.
Johnson and CJU managing partner Bobby Turner issued a joint statement: "We are both proud to be investing in Houston again, and to be partnering with Midway to maximize the potential of such an incredible mixed-use asset. The support we have received from the City of Houston's leadership makes projects like this a possibility."
No dollar figure for the transaction has been released.
CJUF also has the Marq*E Entertainment Center, and the way it describes the Pavilions makes it seem a no-brainer:
An area that is currently experiencing a renaissance due to $3 billion in new development over the last decade, along with a particularly strong leasing market and the City's desire to re-energize the central business district. The Toyota Center, Minute Maid Park, the George R. Brown Convention Center and several upscale hotels are also nearby. The property is also steps away from the Main Street Light Rail system, which traverses 7.5 miles through Downtown Houston.
Of course, it was a no-brainer to those who came before CJUF, too. —Richard Connelly
Messing Up Stepdad's "Perfect" Life
Dog killed, house burned.
Hugo Bethancourt thought his stepfather's "life was too perfect" and so he took steps to change that — he killed the family dog and set fire to his mother's house, according to prosecutors in court documents.