Texas Crimes of the Year, 2012

As it turns out, Texans indulged in all seven of the deadly sins.

"Muniz allegedly stated that she could not help him because she had other people in the van and needed to keep moving," prosecutors said.

Days after the phone conversation, the man was found dead in a ditch near the Panhandle hamlet of Vega. An autopsy concluded that he had died from lobar pneumonia. Prosecutors said that the man would have survived had he received timely medical treatment.

Say what you will about Muniz, but you can't call her greedy. She told the man's wife that since her husband didn't make it to Los Angeles, she was willing to waive the $650 fee.

Muniz and Aceituno could get life in prison, but once again, that beats Dante's punishment for the slothful: a good old-fashioned casting into a snake pit.

ENVY

According to a modern scholarly definition, Envy "occurs when a person lacks another's perceived superior quality, achievement or possession and wishes that the other lacked it."

The envious, in short, are haters, and the Hater Parade continued unabated in 2012.

We're not sure about the exact source of the feud between 26-year-old Heather Hodges and the 13-year-old son of her live-in boyfriend, but one could possibly surmise that Hodges was envious of her man's affection for his son. At any rate, Hodges allegedly concocted a most devious revenge plot: Police say she tucked a pistol into the boy's backpack, sent him to school with it and then phoned in an anonymous tip to the principal's office. The boy endured hours of interrogation, at the end of which he was finally taken at his word — he'd never known about the gun. Police later traced the phone call to a nearby convenience store pay-phone. Hodges was seen phoning in the phony threat on the store's security cam, and confessed to phoning in the tip after she was confronted with the evidence.

Houston's Hugo Bethancourt reportedly thought his stepfather led an overly charmed life. What better way to blemish it than to kick the stepfather's dog Mimi to death and then torch the home he shared with Bethancourt's mom?

Arson investigators reported that the trouble began in August, when Bethancourt's mom found Mimi dead in the home. The stepfather then called Bethancourt, who proudly admitted the killing. "When asked why, Hugo told [the stepfather] his life was too perfect and that he wanted him to go through the same kind of hell that Hugo went through," reads Bethancourt's arrest affidavit.

The stepfather fled the city and told the mom to hide out at a friend's house. While en route to his sanctuary, the stepfather talked to Bethancourt on the phone. He told Bethancourt that "he wanted him out of his house because he was tired of his violence." Hugo reportedly told the stepfather then that he was going to "mess up his house" while he was away. Right on cue, the stepfather heard his home's alarm shriek in the background. Investigators later found that two bedrooms had been deliberately torched in the home. Bethancourt is free on bond and facing a felony arson charge. The killing of Mimi will apparently go unpunished­.

And then there was Uriel Landeros, quite literally a textbook embodiment of Envy. Landeros, you'll recall, is the 22-year-old "artist" who defaced a Picasso at the Menil earlier this year. And then ran away, all while spouting a torrent of inane bullshit about how he had done it all for the "underdogs of the world." Inevitably, a local gallery hosted a showing of Landeros's "works," and both The New York Times and Huffington Post took note in the days leading up to the event. Once Landeros's art was revealed, critics were not kind. Robert Boyd of art blog The Great God Pan Is Dead called the exhibit "a damp squib," and went on to assail Landeros's art as "inept, derivative and juvenile" and "utterly feeble and passé" in its attempt to shock.

"It comes across as completely ersatz, faintly echoing superior artists who outraged (and challenged) public sensibilities — artists that I seriously doubt Landeros has ever heard of," Boyd continued. "If he had, he would have been ashamed to show second-rate students work publicly."

What was that about Envy being the lack of "another's perceived superior quality, achievement or possession and wish[ing] that the other lacked it"?

Uriel Landeros — that sin is you.

Dante believed the envious would have their eyes sewn shut with wire because they had taken pleasure at the downfall of another. Seems less than sufficient for Landeros, whose mouth could also use a stitching. (He is still hiding out, possibly in Mexico.)

WRATH

Texas abounded with cases of Wrath, which Saint Basil once defined as "reprehensible temporary madness."

In October, an Abilene tween reportedly mocked 65-year-old Linda Hall Jones near the ice machine at a local Rodeway Inn. Hall allegedly returned to her nearby room for the proverbial can of whoop-ass — which took the form of pepper-spray, and the 12-year-old mocked no more that night. Jones was charged with assault causing bodily injury.

Not one but two Texans temporarily lost their noses in fights this year. In March, a 24-year-old Trinity, Texas, man was arrested after he reportedly chomped off every part of his 18-year-old roommate's nose that was not made of bone. The victim had rallied to the defense of his sister — Lance Taylor's girlfriend — who was arguing with Taylor over money and a car. The mangled nose was recovered and it was sent along with the victim to a Tyler emergency room, where doctors were able to reattach it. Taylor faces a charge of aggravated assault causing serious bodily harm.

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4 comments
lineardyna
lineardyna

Excellent story - I learned something from it, e.g. hoarding = greed. Early in the New Year of 2013 is as good a time as any to review the "seven deadlies." Though not all of us are at all likely to do any of these sins exactly the same way, IMHO we need to periodically perform a self-appraisal to see where we may be missing the mark and it sure couldn't hurt to try to learn from the mistakes of others especially since we won't live long enough to make them all ourselves.

Schitt.Rumpney
Schitt.Rumpney

The "man and his dog".....why did I have to read itn..lol

HeyYoJos
HeyYoJos

@bomani_jones @smartfootball @blackmanusa Want all 50 states rt @hairballsnews 2012: The Year in #Texas Crimes http://t.co/WJUhGDhg

Geezy
Geezy

"It's something that you really can't imagine. I see my neighbor out there with his pants down — molesting my dog. I wasn't prepared to see that that morning,"

This killed me when I read it, hahaha. Lomax you should consider doing a "memorable quotes" 1 off to this article here, considering the stupidity of some of these crimes I'm sure there's some great ones. 

Awesome way to sum up the year. Hilarious. 

 
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