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Street Knowledge

The Geto Boys MC is also Rocks Off's brand-new advice columnist.

Ask Willie D:

BABY MAMA DRAMA

I have joint custody of my son. I love him to death, but his mom, my ex-wife, is driving me away from him by constantly trying to push my button wanting to argue. I'm trying to be peaceful for my son, but I'm thinking about getting out of his life before I snap on her. What should I do? — Sheldon Young

Our new advice columnist
Courtesy of Willie D
Our new advice columnist
Jay-Z's music "just doesn't seem appealing to me, not even for entertainment purposes," says a woman on our panel.
Marco Torres
Jay-Z's music "just doesn't seem appealing to me, not even for entertainment purposes," says a woman on our panel.
Brian Davis hopes to pick up some Grave Tone soundtrack work at the upcoming Texas Frightmare convention in Dallas.
Courtesy of Brian Davis
Brian Davis hopes to pick up some Grave Tone soundtrack work at the upcoming Texas Frightmare convention in Dallas.
Loving the Spice Girls' "Viva Forever" a little too much recently got one poor UK bloke evicted.
Loving the Spice Girls' "Viva Forever" a little too much recently got one poor UK bloke evicted.

Wow. Sheldon, that's a heartbreaker, homie. I can tell you what I wouldn't do quicker than I can tell you what I would do. Under no circumstances would I abandon my son. When my son Blake was born, it was the second proudest moment of my life — the first being the birth of my daughter Caen.

Not knowing in advance what his gender would be, when he was being delivered and I saw his jewels, I was so happy that I dropped his mother's leg and yelled so loud that all of the doctors and nurses working the graveyard shift in the maternity ward came rushing into the room.

I can't see how some men could voluntarily miss the opportunity to witness the child they helped to create come to life, let alone not be involved in the nurturing and development of them.

Whatever you do, don't snap. They got expensive lawyers and correctional facilities with hard cots, funky cellmates and nasty food for that. If you can't trust your temper when she pushes your buttons, you should probably arrange for a family member or close friend to meet with her at a designated location away from your home to receive or drop him off to her.

If he has a game or is in a play at school, sit as far away from her as possible. If he has a birthday party, take him a gift, snap a few pictures and burn off.

Distancing yourself from your son's mother doesn't mean you have to distance yourself from him. You don't want him to think when a man has issues with a woman, the first thing he does is lose his cool and neglect his ­responsibilities.

I don't care how difficult the relationship is, walking out of your son's life is not an option and laying hands on his mother may not turn out like you think.

KEEPING THE LOVE ALIVE

I have only been dating my guy for a year, and I already feel like the love is lost. He doesn't bring me flowers, he doesn't call to meet for lunch and he is only interested in sex about once a week. He used to be the most romantic man I had ever been with. He says that nothing is wrong, he is just tired. Should I end it because it is a lost cause that will only go downhill from here, or should I hang on in hopes that the love will rebound? — Katie

Katie, don't you dare think about touching that doorknob. Turn your sexy butt around and take a warm shower. When you're done, reach into that closet and find something nice to wear, and spray on some Bond No. 9, then go directly to wherever your man is. If prying eyes prevent you from being intimate on site, find an alternative location and put it on him like you was a dancer auditioning for a Beyoncé video.

All of us — males and females — go the extra mile when the relationship is fresh. As with a new car, we pay attention to detail and are careful not to damage it. But after we've driven it for a while and the newness wears off, we become complacent, carelessly hitting potholes, getting dings and not keeping it as clean as we used to.

I'm not in your home, but I'm sure there are things you used to do that your man appreciated that you no longer do. To expect anyone to be their same great, perfect self months or even years into a relationship is not realistic, and if you leave them to date someone else because the spice is missing, don't be surprised if you find yourself in the same situation chasing that new-car scent.
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He Said She Said

Couples Therapy
The Top 10 Songs Your Girlfriend Cannot Stand.

Rocks Off

Recently, as a sort of experiment, Rocks Off asked ten of our male contributors to ask a woman in their life — wife, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, even a close friend, just not a blood relation — to name one band or artist they simply cannot abide.

What a great question, right? Easy to answer but almost impossible to agree on. Some answers came back almost right away in replies that seemed almost reflexive, while others took a few days and came in the form of carefully considered paragraphs.

Either way, it was clear that the women we asked did not require much prompting at all.

Blink-182: "Because [of] their extreme whininess."

Chris Brown: "Why is Chris Brown still famous?"

The Cure: I hate the Cure. I hate them. And everyone — everyone — used to assume that just because I wore black lipstick and had a deathmullet [in high school], I was the Cure's biggest fan. Which I was not.

"I was of the Depeche Mode camp because I (and maybe this is just me) do not find the sound of a grown man constantly choking back tears appealing and/or sexy, whereas Dave Gahan's voice is what lubricated vaginas (and assholes — I don't judge!) are made of."

Jay-Z: "His music doesn't seem appealing to me, not even for entertainment purposes."

Lady Antebellum: "For ripping off Alan Parsons Project, among others. Everything they do is a ripoff. Nashville garbage."

Metallica: "The people who like them just look dirty, like they need a bath. They have long, nasty hair, and smell like stale cigarettes and weed. The music makes me cringe, and all I think about is the scumbags that like it."

My Chemical Romance: "They're just...bad, and so contrived. That cover of 'Under Pressure' was beyond evil. It's like they take everything I like about music and jump up and down and piss on it."

Nickelback: "In my opinion, one of the worst bands that I ever heard. I cannot give you specific reasons about the music itself, because if I am subjected to listening to it, I will change the station, leave the bar, etc. I will take whatever action is necessary in order to not have to listen to shitty music."

One Direction: "I hate that damn Harry Styles kid because the magazines keep talking about him, and all I want to do is give him a haircut."

Justin Timberlake: "It started during the No Strings Attached days, where crunchy curls gave way to the afro. Later came the ill-advised cornrows. About the same time entered the boy-from-the-hood-but-didn't-sound-like-it-last-week accent that sealed the deal. This guy was annoying.

"I've held steady with time — this opinion isn't a popular one — but find myself easing up some. Still, he's got a ways to go."

Compiled by Chris Gray from the replies submitted to Brando, Corey Deiterman, Cory Garcia, Craig Hlavaty, Jef With One F, Josh Justice, Matthew Keever, Shea Serrano, Nathan Smith and Marco Torres.
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The Rocks Off 100

Scary Talents
Longtime punk drummer and now horror-film composer Brian Davis joins our exclusive club.

Jef With One F

Who? You probably know Brian Davis as the drummer for one of Houston's longest-running and most respected bands, 30footFALL. Davis started banging on pots and pans when he was a little kid, and has been playing on an actual kit since his parents gave in and embraced his destiny when he wasten.

He's been a regular 30FF member since he took over percussion duties when Damon Delapaz left for California to record with Fenix-TX on MCA, splitting his time between 30FF and his own band, Middlefinger. It was Davis who laid down tracks for 30FF's 1999 punk masterpiece, Ever Revolving, Never Evolving.

That band's early success took a toll on its members, though, and 30FF has been sort of a semi-regular affair since the mid-'00s, despite a string of excellent records released whenever the fancy takes them. Fans can expect to see them live this June, and for their annual Punk Rock Christmas Show.

But when not working with 30FF, Davis crafts horror-movie music under the moniker Grave Tone Productions. His 2011 album Music to Be Buried By was part concept record, part demo reel to try to interest various scaremakers in his work.

The gambit has paid off well so far. Davis has provided music for 2012's Reel Evil and '90s music-scene documentary When We Ruled H-Town, and has a new EP prepared to release at Dallas horror convention Texas Frightmare in May. We can also look forward to a short film entirely written, directed and scored by Grave Tone later this year.

Home Base: Davis crafts all of his music for Grave Tone in his home studio, and whenever it's time for 30footFall to get their act together, they rent space from Francisco's, as Houston punk tradition dictates. When it comes to the stage, 30FF prefers Fitzgerald's over other venues for the energetic audiences. Fitz has been the band's ground zero for as long as anyone can remember.

Why Do You Stay in Houston?: "Good question," Davis says. "I can't tan, and I often joke that the sun doesn't like me, so I guess mainly because I've been here my whole life. As far as my music career goes, I've stayed in Houston because I've been fortunate enough to play music for a living in addition to being involved with or being part of some great and fun bands and musicians."

Music Scene Pet Peeve: "I'm not too sure what it's like for the younger bands of today, but I would say the lack of respect that all of the musicians get for pursuing their dreams from people who don't know about or support the scene," says Davis. "Most of us will never win a Grammy or sell a million records but it is possible to be successful. Having said that, I don't know how many times I've been asked what I do for a living and when I tell them I'm a musician, they say, 'Oh, but what do you really do?"
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Kill Us Now, Please

Bad Neighbors
Five songs you should be evicted for playing.

Corey Deiterman

Recently Britain's NME reported on a man so utterly obsessed with the Spice Girls song "Viva Forever" that he played it over and over and over again, until he pissed off his neighbors and landlord so much that they kicked him out of his apartment. I've heard of people losing their apartments for playing metal or rock and roll too loud, but the Spice Girls?

And was "Viva Forever" even that big of a hit? Maybe in the UK?

Who knows what possessed this man to sacrifice his domicile in the name of Spicefever, but clearly the masses — or at least this poor bloke's neighbors — have spoken in a fit of democracy: "Viva Forever" is awful, and evidently now grounds for eviction. In that spirit, I've got a few other suggestions for songs that ought to be expressly forbidden in your average apartment lease, for the sake of all human sanity.

Drowning Pool, "Bodies": Ah yes, our good old friends from Dallas. Drowning Pool wasn't one of the worst bands to come out of that whole nu-metal/post-grunge movement in the late '90s and early '00s. They also weren't the best. On the other hand, "Bodies" is so ridiculously repetitive that it feels like you've heard the song ten times in the span of one listen.

Sublime, "Santeria": Ever been in a car with stoners? Prepare yourself to hear this song a good ten times in a row. I think we've all been there at some point. The good thing is you eventually reach your destination and it finally ends.

But imagine living next door to stoners. There's no reason for them ever to turn it off! Great for them, maddening for anyone in surrounding apartments who isn't baked.

Starship, "We Built This City on Rock and Roll": Why does this song always make lists of most annoying or flat-out worst songs of all time? Because it's literally that bad. I would much prefer to have hot oil poured down my ear canals than to hear this song more than once a decade.

Dido, "Thank You": This one is personal. I once had a roommate who played this song ad nauseam. I think I had done something to incite this cruel and unusual torture, but I don't remember. All I remember, and all I'm capable of remembering now, is the lyrics. You might not think it's so bad the first time, but trust me, by the 50th you'll hate it, too.

Journey, "Don't Stop Believing": With apologies to all this song's fans, it needs to die. Now. Look, I know it was pretty cool when The Sopranos and then Family Guy revived it out of the depths of obscurity and made it a nationwide craze, but can I please just go anywhere that plays music without hearing it at least once? At this point, if I were your landlord, you wouldn't get through "just a small-town girl" before you would be out the door, believe me.

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1 comments
gdsmithtx
gdsmithtx

Sheldon:   Or you could, y'know, keep your cool and not fight with her, or at least not in front of the boy.  It takes 2 people to argue; if you don't play her game, both you and the boy win.  If you continue to fall prey to her ploys, or worse remove yourself from your son's life, both you and the boy lose, especially the boy.  And then you probably become the source of a lifetime's worth of problems for the boy.

It's really a no-brainer.

 
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