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And what compelled the move out of the Big 12 and out of a storied rivalry with the University of Texas was the Longhorn Network, UT's private sports channel that has been picked up by ones of cable networks and features 24-7 coverage of all things Longhorn. The content is riveting. Who knew that talk shows about the UT golf program or detailed discussions of women's tennis could be so captivating?

The truth is, as much as this is a needed renovation, it's also a big fat fuck-you to the Aggies' Austin rivals. This is the equivalent of an ex-girlfriend who was cheated on before leaving first coupling with the old boyfriend's most hated rival (SEC) and topping it off by showing off the brand-new diamond ring he bought her (Kyle Field renovations). Sure, the old boyfriend can still find comfort in the arms of the girl he slept with (Longhorn Network), but that's probably because no one else wants her knowing she's a home-wrecker.

So while A&M is cavorting all over the Deep South in a brand-new Mercedes (Johnny Football), UT is left trying to figure out what to do with senile old Grandpa (Mack Brown) while living on past glories (Vince Young).

Congrats, Aggies. In about half a decade, you've gone from a burned-out roadhouse skank to a hot cheerleader engaged to the star quarterback while watching your sworn enemy go flailing in the opposite direction at the same time. It's good to be the king.

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