By Kaitlin Steinberg
By Minh T Truong
By Molly Dunn
By Brooke Viggiano
By Kaitlin Steinberg
By Molly Dunn
By Molly Dunn
By Eating Our Words
The Waiter Who Says Everything You Order Is His Favorite
I've been to several restaurants where there is that one waiter who endorses everything your table orders. After you order the chicken dish, he or she responds, "OOOOH, that one is my favorite!" Then the next person at your table orders the pasta dish and the waiter says, "OOOOH, that one is my favorite! Excellent choice!" As the waiter takes each person's order, it's a broken-record response of "That's my favorite!" Is everything on the menu your favorite? Or do you just not know how to respond to people when they order something? While this is annoying, it's also annoying when waiters can't tell you which dish to order. I usually can't decide between two dishes, so I like to ask the waiter which one he or she would recommend. It's not going to offend anyone if you say, "I prefer this one over that one," so don't give me a neutral response because that doesn't help me whatsoever. Have an opinion, please. MOLLY DUNN
The Restaurant Critic
We know you know who we are, but we still pretend to be sneaky. Oh, me? I'm just here enjoying a leisurely meal with my two friends who happen to feel the need to discuss the menu with me before they order anything. Yeah, and we're just really hungry. That's why we ordered 15 different dishes. It's totally not that I have to taste them all or anything. Nope, I just love food. Taking notes? Of course not! I'm...um...texting. Yes, I'm texting. And I swear I'm not looking too hard at the decor or the wine list or mentally discussing the pros and cons of each dish while I'm eating. How does a 25-year-old afford all this expensive food? Uh, I'm an heiress. Right. Heiress. With a trust fund. Just for food. Oh, I'm sorry, was my judgmental stare interrupting your pleasant meal? I was really just thinking about my cat, that's all. (And, of course, about how best to convey the complete and utter failure of this chicken breast to remotely resemble food while I maintain an air of innocent naïveté so people will like me.) That's not annoying, is it? KAITLIN STEINBERG
TOP 5 MICHELADAS IN HOUSTON
An unashamed love of micheladas.
I was first introduced to the michelada one summer in Corpus Christi. I grew up on the bayfront, but I'd never learned to surf, so a few years back, I decided it was time. My first lesson had nothing to do with the board or the waves, though. Instead, my instructor handed me a michelada and explained that that's what you drink while surfing in the Gulf.
I liked it immediately, but I've always been a big fan of Bloody Marys and eating salsa out of the jar with a spoon. When I tried to introduce micheladas to some of my friends in the Midwest, they were less enthusiastic. And I get it. A medley of beer, tomato juice, hot sauce and seafood is not for everyone.
If you're one of the brilliant few people who, like me, love an ice-cold bloody beer on a hot day, then this is the list for you. Check out my favorite michelada spots in town (in no particular order), and let me know where you go to get your fix!
I get the feeling that this isn't really a place where you go sit at the bar and nurse a michelada or two (like I do) instead of ordering food, but sometimes you just want to drink lunch. The micheladas at Taqueria Arandas are heavy on the beer, and you have a choice of draft or bottle. I stick with Modelo Especial, which I highly recommend. The michelada mix is light — combined with the beer, it's almost the color of a Shirley Temple — but it packs a spicy punch. I also detected lots of fresh lime juice and pepper. It's a great choice if you're in the mood for a high-alcohol michelada.
Captain Tom's Seafood and Oyster Bar
Captain Tom's is out near Cypress, so it's a bit of a haul for me. But it's totally worth it for the cheap micheladas and fresh seafood. The restaurant is in the shape of a boat, and there's not a lot of space inside to sit down and eat. If you're able to squirm your way up to the bar in the middle, you'll see that nearly everyone in the joint is drinking a michelada of some sort. Many choose to pair the spicy tomato juice with Bud Light, which I personally feel is disrespectful to the michelada. It must be made with Mexican beer. Captain Tom's will give you a bottle of Corona and a mug partially filled with Cajun Chef hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, and lime juice and allow you to add the beer as you please. The best part? If your michelada gets too weak as you add beer, all the ingredients are sitting out on the counter. Just whip up some more, and you're good to go!