The 10 Worst People in Houston Restaurants

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Though Beaver's is pretty well known for its epic brunch offerings, the cocktail menu is pretty awesome as well. Micheladas aren't listed on the cocktail menu, but the bartenders are happy to make them. You can choose which type of beer you'd like (I went with Modelo), and they add the delicious homemade Bloody Mary mix. The bartender explained to me that the Bloody Mary mix features "bruised celery," which they knock around a bit with the bottom of a cocktail shaker. That gets mixed with tomato juice, garlic, lime juice, wasabi (instead of the more traditional horseradish) and Big Daddy's Hot Sauce. It's topped off with a salt and pepper rim for just the right amount of kick. Also, since Beaver's uses actual tomato juice in the micheladas, you can totally tell yourself that they're healthy.

Connie's Seafood Market & Restaurant

"if he doesn't put down that cell phone soon, this meal is going in his lap..."
"if he doesn't put down that cell phone soon, this meal is going in his lap..."
Taqueria Arandas Michelada
Taqueria Arandas Michelada

This is another example of a super-simple michelada done well. The micheladas at Connie's feature whatever beer you choose (again, always Mexican beer, people!), hot sauce, lime juice, salt and pepper. Connie's actually bottles its homemade michelada sauce because it's so good that people want to be able to make these at home. If you ask the restaurant to jazz it up for you a little, though, they'll throw some shrimp or a raw oyster in the bottom of your glass to marinate while you sip. The best thing about these micheladas is that they pair well with pretty much everything on the menu. I recommend the fried whole tilapia and shrimp fried rice.


The micheladas at Ninfa's aren't as spicy as some of the others in town, but they certainly are refreshing. They're served in a tall glass that holds a full beer (as opposed to other michelada glasses that require you to pour in a beer gradually or give you less than a full serving), and the glass is rimmed with some sort of spicy, nutty mix. The guy behind the bar either couldn't or wouldn't divulge what exactly it's made of, but I got salt, chile powder and sesame seeds from it. Were I to order another Ninfa's michelada — and let's be real, it's going to happen — I'd ask for a little extra hot sauce in the mix. But if you're a michelada newbie, absolutely start here.


Satisfy your sweet tooth.


5. Belgian Chocolate Milkshake (Amy's Ice Creams). Here are some famous last words: "I'll just get a milkshake." That's what I said one night when a bunch of friends and I stopped at Amy's for some dessert. We had just finished dining at Chuy's, where I ate my weight in chimichangas, and I was feeling a bit full. So I ordered a milkshake, opting for Belgian chocolate instead of my regular Mexican vanilla, because, hey, why not? Why not? WHY NOT? Because Amys's Belgian chocolate milkshake is an unbelievably rich liquid chocolate concoction that is a chocolate-lover's dream....or, in my case, a nightmare if her stomach is just too crowded to fit in every last sip. I tried to drink half, but it just got too painful. I stuck it in the freezer, and the next day I downed it in five minutes.

4. Double Chocolate Chip Cookie (Sinfull Bakery). Sinfull's double chocolate chip cookie is just good. Not "good for a vegan cookie." Not "good despite the absence of butter and milk." Just good. 'Cause they don't skimp on the carob and chocolate chips. So just go eat it.

3. The Milk and Dark Chocolate Classic Sampler (The Brownie Bowl). Sometimes, and especially at The Brownie Bowl, it's too hard to decide between milk and dark chocolate. So don't. By combining two flavors of your choice, the Classic Sampler facilitates a sugary showdown of some of the moistest cocoa-dense brownies in Houston. You decide which is your favorite. I prefer the dark.

2. Ultimate Chocolate Cupcake (Ooh La La Bakery). When I wrote my gushing post about Ooh La La's s'mores cupcake, I felt a bit guilty for giving that cupcake a monopoly on my adoration. With four cocoa manifestations (chocolate cake, chocolate buttercream icing, chocolate ganache and chocolate chunks garnish), the Ultimate Chocolate Cupcake boasts an equally impressive and decadent cross-section. It makes triple-chocolate baked goods seem so effete. You may discover this fact because you thought you wanted to split it with a friend. Well, offers are made to be retracted.

1. Uncle Darryl's Chocolate Cake (The Chocolate Bar). Though The Chocolate Bar may be the predictable purveyor of the number-one pick on this list, At least I hope you are mildly surprised I went with the Uncle Darryl's Cake rather than the straight-up fudge explosion that is the Aunt Etta's. Nothing against dear old Etta, but the inclusion of toffee chips in the Uncle Darryl's gives the cake a savory, buttery crunch that delightfully contrasts, and inevitably heightens, the smooth sweet ganache and the spongy cake. I don't know if there has been a better use of the Heath Bar in the history of desserts.


Surprising shutterings and provocative plans.

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