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City Slickers

23 things you won't see at shows in the suburbs.

This suspicion is confirmed almost out of the box as MC Serch drops a frightening and bizarre tale of dodging murderous Crips in L.A. after a hit was allegedly put out on 3rd Bass by none other than hip-hop icon M.C. Hammer, of all crazy people. Right away, that sounds funnier than it does scary, but apparently the Crips weren't laughing.

Now, Bushwick Bill? What wouldn't you believe about that little dude? Never known for particularly stable behavior, Bill tossed local fans his most recent curveball at last year's Free Press Summer Fest, where he showed up too late to perform with the Geto Boys during their much-heralded set. Rumors flew regarding his absence, but longtime Geto children began acclimating to Bushwick's unpredictability around the time he drunkenly demanded that his girlfriend shoot him in the eye back in 1991.

So while Serch's story would've been unbelievable had it been about anybody else, it's not so much of a stretch to take it as gospel that Bushwick Bill brought him to a house filled with bricks of cocaine, took him out dancing with his pregnant baby mama, hit his own brother in the head with a brick of the non-cocaine variety and sold him out to the cops before having a gun stuck in his face by a limousine driver.

Peter Beste

Serch says he never hung out with Bushwick Bill again after that night. Whether it was by choice or because he wasn't famous enough anymore, he didn't say. All that really matters is that it was the best Bushwick Bill story we've heard in years. Listen to the whole thing at ­thechamps.libsyn.com/mc-serch.
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Screwston, Texas

Moon Shot
The Southeast Beast, local rapper Doughbeezy, unveils his latest work.

Brando

iMix Studios is a bunker nestled across a near-endless strand of apartment complexes on the southwest side of town. After I pulled open the main door one evening last week, the first big "wow" moment was a plaque given to house engineer Stephan Townsend for his work on 2 Chainz's album Based on a True Story. The second was the suffocating crowd huddled around Doughbeezy thanks to Footprints on the Moon, the Houston rapper's first big release since 2012's Blue Magic and one of the more eagerly anticipated tapes in recent memory.

Of course, nothing "private" in Houston is truly private, so even if the listening party was technically invitation-only, it turned into a minor family reunion anyway. Doughbeezy seemed joyous and relaxed, clad in a black sweater and framed glasses. Every song was introduced with a story, from already-­released single "I'm From Texas" to definite ladies' favorite "She's on Top."

Every guest who made an appearance on the mixtape spoke, offering well-wishes as if they were sending the Southeast Beast on his way to rap college. Collectively, Houston is behind Dough more than any other rapper in the city at this moment. Everybody believes he is going to crack the ceiling.

Footprints was scratched from its original release date some months ago and reworked, but the tape is now much better realized. Its cast of familiar suspects such as Propain all build off their natural rapport with Dough. Everyone believes that this tape, with production from TrakkSounds, Donnie Houston and others, will skyrocket the rapper to somewhere the air is a bit thinner.

As a whole, Footprints understands what it's supposed to be — a showcase for Dough's lyricism and wit without attempting to create an even more potent syrupy mix. Unlike 2012's punch-line-heavy Reggie Bush & Kool Aid and even Blue Magic's darker moments, entire songs on Footprints stand out, instead of just a couple of quotably hot lines.

Dough's outlook has changed considerably from our first encounter at a Kickback Sundays event some four years ago. There he could slouch around and enjoy the scene without being second-guessed, here to destroy you on the microphone and shake hands afterwards.

Now he's one of Houston rap's more legitimate brands to come along in the past couple of years, one armed with charm and discernible skill.
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Ask Willie D

The Friend Zone
A reader slept with one mutual friend and now likes another. Uh-oh.

Dear Willie D:

A good friend of mine invited me to her house to help celebrate her going-away party because she was moving out of the country. I have been to her house on a few other occasions, and have always had a good time. She has an eclectic group of friends who like to party, and all of them are doing good things in life [career-wise]. The last time I visited, she introduced me to her husband's friend.

We hit it off and decided to exchange numbers. After I talked to him on the phone several times, he came to my apartment and we had sex. On a scale of one to ten, his bedroom skills were maybe a two. I couldn't wait for him to leave my house, not just because of the wasted time I spent preparing for his arrival and sharing my body, but because he couldn't hold a decent conversation. I quickly realized that we were not compatible.

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