Giving Satan a Bad Name

Two Harris County teens charged with killing a schoolmate in so-called "occult murder."

 Highlights from Hair Balls
Followers of Satan are used to having their beliefs scapegoated.


God is good, and for some Satan is, too.

Satanists don't deserve the bad rap they're getting after the recent news linking accused killers to the Prince of Darkness. The words "satanic ritual murder" or "occult killing" set off alarms in God-fearing people, and that's probably why prosecutors and the media ran with it.

This hit home when two Harris County teens were charged with capital murder recently in what the Houston Chronicle referred to as an "occult killing." Other news outlets headlined it "deal with the devil" or "ritual murder."

John Jordan of the Harris County DA's office is working the case and says that Jose E. Reyes, 17, allegedly talked a 16-year-old into joining him in killing schoolmate Corriann Cervantes. The younger kid wanted to join Reyes in a deal with the devil. Cervantes, 15, was mutilated, strangled and raped. Authorities said there was an upside-down cross carved on her belly.

Last week Reyes told a TV news reporter that he's actually a Christian and doesn't follow Satan, but he was really into the devil a few years ago.

Followers of Satan are used to having their beliefs scapegoated in the name of murder.

"You now have people who are practicing the illusion of the occult," says Michael Bradley, a Satanist and a regular in Houston's goth scene. When you hear about people, especially teens, killing in the name of the devil, there's probably mental illness involved, and an imagination twisted on images from metal music groups and hit movies that teens consume in hopes of scaring the shit out of their parents.

Blaming a supernatural force for causing someone to commit murder is disturbing and sad, and at this point, very unoriginal. Claiming "I did it for the devil," is no different from people saying they were commanded by angels, God or other voices to commit murder," says Bradley. "It's unfortunate that it's sensationalized," he said. "The supernatural, the occult, help to relieve people of their responsibility."

"If you were going to cut somebody," says Satan worshipper Jef Rouner (a frequent contributor to the Houston Press), "you'd get the same amount of energy from jerking off." Laid out in the Satanic Bible are rituals for wealth, revenge and other things that are mostly symbolic, he says. You're not supposed to go around killing people, though.

From jail, Miranda Barbour told a small-town Pennsylvania newspaper she had joined a satanic murder cult in Alaska when she was a teen, according to the Associated Press. She claims to have participated in almost two dozen murders, including one in Texas.

CNN followed up this Satan worship claim with a call to some ranking followers.

"Top Satanists say they have no ties to Barbour or her husband, Elytte Barbour, who is also charged in the 2013 killing of 42-year-old Troy LaFerrara. Police say LaFerrara responded to a 'companionship' ad placed by Miranda Barbour on Craigslist."

Rouner also doesn't buy any of it, and he's been a self-proclaimed Satanist since the late 1980s. "When you bring me the Satanic version of Warren Jeffs, when there is a compound where you can prove to me that child rape and murder were done by devout Satanists who thought that they were doing the right thing, when you show me a single conviction where sober faith and not raving lunacy invoked Satan in a heinous ritual crime, then I will believe it."

Satanism, after all, is about worshipping yourself, and Satanists nationwide have been fighting the evil, ritual-killings stereotype as their Church of Satan and related practices inch into the mainstream. Conspiracies abound.

For now, no matter who they owe their souls to, the Barbours face the death penalty, and here Reyes could face life in prison.


Pork-Infused Bullets
Want to buy these special items from Idaho in case you're attacked by a terrorist?

Craig Malisow

Texas is renowned as a gun-lover's paradise, and firearm enthusiasts in Houston are fortunate to have a vast array of gun shops to choose from — but unfortunately, if you want pork-laced ammunition to fend off a crazed jihadist, you'll have to order it from the clear-minded, levelheaded folks at the Idaho-based

An alert Hair Balls reader sent us the link, and at first we thought it was a joke. But no, the company sells "pork infused ballistic coating" that's "endorsed by Uncle Ham." The thinking (if it can be called that) is that shooting a terrorist with this ammo "will prevent their attaining entrance into heaven."

The "porcine coating" is a "natural deterrent to the ever growing threat of radical Islam and sharia law." (We hear this is an especially big problem in Idaho.)

Of course, you'll need to hone your skills, so Jihawg sells paper targets with nifty drawings, like a bearded, robed, AK-47-wielding "terrorist" with a unibrow and pig's nose standing under a headline that reads "Put Some Ham in MoHAMed." (Another suggests you "Do 72 Virgins A Favor," which isn't logically consistent with the company's mission statement, because the whole point of the pork bullets is that the deceased doesn't go to heaven. But we digress.)

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Jihadis around every bush may not be a problem in Idaho, but it is in Houston. With Mosques popping up like mushrooms on dog's stool compost around Houston, and reported Hamas sponsored compounds in places like Sweeny just a stone's throw from Freeport, their might be more to fear about terrorist attacks in the greater Houston area than your tongue and cheek article might suggest. When it happens, and I don't say IF, there are too many lucrative targets in the Greater Houston area to pass up. Imagine the ripple effect of damaging 4 or five refineries or petrochemical plants in the area, or closing the ship channel with a well place shipwreck would have on the price stability of gas? Not to mention what kind of knee jerk reaction the panty wearing libertards would have across the country.


Card Carrying liberals in Houston will be lucky for all the CHL carriers or those of us packing bigger hardware, when the Allah Akbar screaming savages start to spray AK rounds in the local malls. Good intentions and Political Correctness never stopped a high velocity bullet aimed by a liberal nut case (yes most shooters ARE disaffected liberals or those protected by PC from closer examination and dare we say...profiling? I was profiled coming back from Abu Dhabi by the French Air Marshals: at 6' 240lbs white, 49yo and carry two computers they focused on my sweat. I guess they thought I was nervous. I found one air marshal sitting in seats on either side of me, until they engaged me in conversation and realized I was working for a French company, and was not some covert Islamic killer. Satisfied, they vanished forth with. In this country, law enforcement would not have even come near me till the blood splatter had cooled. Our law enforcement does not do much but play maid service to those that would do us harm

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