Literally anyone can get a movie made or anything for that matter. Last week it was announced that the Grumpy Cat meme was getting a movie made about, I don't know, I assume it's going to be about being a cat that's grumpy. Grumpy Cat was voted the best meme in the 2013 Webby Awards and its social status has skyrocketed. Grumpy Cat got an agent, agent to the star pets Ben Lashes, and he's been spotted eating over-priced fish at Nobu and smelling the butt of Keyboard Cat despite being in a committed relationship. Next thing you know old Grumps will be strung out on catnip eating out of dumpsters on Hollywood Boulevard.
This is the dumbest idea I have ever heard. No, this is actually the dumbest idea I ever heard, but a Grumpy Cat movie is up there. Is this going to be a new trend in the movie businesses, making movies out of memes? After the monumental failure of the Shit My Dad Says Twitter feed-turn television show, producers haven't caught wind that things that steal the general public's attention in 30-second increments do not have the staying power to fill entire plots? I guess not.
So we're doing this now? Then, let's do it. Top ten memes that need their own movies.
Dear Hollywood, please remake D.W. Griffith's 1915 glorification of the KKK film,A Birth of A Nation
, scene-by-scene, with all of its three hours of horrible, racist, discriminatory acts of violence and right when the audience can't take another minute of it - BAM. Rickrolled.
9. Oolong the Pancake Rabbit
Oolong is a bunny with a pancake on its head, and for some reason the world found this entrancing. But, what if this pancake-sporting bunny was the star of a live-action version of Watership Down. Get some maple syrup because you are going to need something sweet to get the metallic blood taste out of your mouth, bunny!
8. Epic Fail
I think a great use of the "Epic Fail" meme would be to put together a compilation of all of Adam Sandler's movies since Happy Gilmore and every time he does something terribly unfunny, slap the Epic Fail across the scene. This would also make a good drinking game.
7. First World Problems
This is already a movie called The Hangover III/He's Not That Into You/Sex And the City 1 and 2/The Wedding Planner/The Notebook/The Words/You've Got Mail/About a Boy/The 40-Year Old Virgin/Jerry Maguire/Juno/Silver Linings Playbook/Bridget Jones's Diary/Anything by Woody Allen starring Katherine Heigl or Reece Whiterspoon or John Cusack that takes place in Manhattan, London, Los Angeles or Austin and there is a scene in the rain where they get wet and complain about how their clothes are wet. 6. Forever Alone
The Forever Alone meme is definitely the star of Tim Burton's next movie. How could it not be?
5. Condescending Wonka
What is Gene Wilder doing these days anyway? I see him reprising his famous Wonka role but every time one of those fat, bratty kids says something he has a smart-as-hell condescending comeback.
Oompa Loompas: "Oompa loompa doompadee doo / I've got another puzzle for you / Oompa loompa doompadah dee / If you are wise you'll listen to me / Who do you blame when your kid is a brat / Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat/"
Willy Wonka: "Oh, you can rhyme. That's cute."
4. Sad Keanu
It's a movie about a man and his sandwhich, and it's very, very upsetting. 3. LOLcats
I won't pretend to find the humor in this meme; these pictures are just plain dumb to me. But I am not 98 percent of the meme-loving population who would go gaga over an lolcats movie. What would such a film be about? I suppose it would have to be about a cheezburger and there would need to be subtitles.
2. Ryan Gosling Won't Eat His Cereal
We could stretch this meme into a 90-minute movie. But there would have to be a really good reason Gosling won't eat his Rice Krispies such as they are stale, the milk is bad or they stole money from him and murdered his daughter's mother and he wants revenge, but it will be a slow, painful revenge.
1. Screaming Goat
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Let's just rereleaseTitanic
again on the big screen (it's inevitable) and throw the goat out during all opportune moments. "I'm flying!" "MAAAA!" "I'm drowning!" "MAAA!"