10 Most Pointless Things Hidden in Video Games
Pretty much every video game these days is going to sneak in an Easter Egg or two...or in the case of Borderlands 2, they occasionally sneak in a game between all the Easter Eggs. There's a difference, though, between dropping in a Doctor Who joke and these ten hidden treasures. For the most part, they defy all explanation and in all cases are bloody useless on top of that.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time It's a pretty well known fact that if you dive down to the very bottom of the pool in the Lakeside Laboratory, there is a motionless shark behind a set of bars. It's crudely drawn, does nothing and cannot be interacted with in any way. There's a theory that it's a joke by Nintendo about not supporting use of the GameShark cheat devices, which would among other things disable use of the Nintendo 64 Expansion Pak. Speaking of Zelda...
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask Going up instead of down in the sequel, Link can find a paper airplane on top of the south-easternmost pillar in the Castle of Ikana courtyard. Again, you can't pick it up or do anything with it, and this time there are no real theories as to why it's there. It may seem weird to have paper airplanes in a land where there aren't airplanes of any kind, but bear in mind that everyone from Da Vinci to the Wright Brothers based ideas on ancient paper gliders. Maybe the same will be true in Hyrule.
Halo 3 There are three cavemen who can be found hidden off the beaten path in the Sierra 117 level of Halo 3. The first is left of the jungle entrance where Sergeant Johnson's Pelican is downed. Navigate through the jungle to find a caveman family. You can also find a lone caveman on a cliff through your sniper rifle scope where you actually rescue Johnson. The cavemen are a private joke by creative art director Marcus Lehto, who is notorious for Easter Egg jokes. All the cavemen bear his face, and will bleed if you shoot them.
Earthworm Jim 2 Throughout the course of playing Earthworm Jim 2, you come across the Bubble Gun. It's useless. Intentionally useless. This fact did not stop me from wasting Allah alone knows how many lives trying to find the situation that clearly called for a bubble gun. That's to say nothing of how many times you die frantically cycling through your weapons and stumbling across this one by accident right before you're killed.
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Grand Theft Auto 4 GTA games are full of all kinds of weird stuff that does nothing more than make you wonder what the hell they pump into the air in the design room. For me, though, nothing tops the baby stroller found on the beach under Dukes Expressway in GTA4. It's not the only stroller in the game, but considering the game does not have and never has had children scripted into it, the presence of any stroller is very puzzling. Some players say that if you shoot the stroller, a voice can be heard screaming "Mommy!"
Earthbound In the Dusty Dunes Desert, if you look reeeaaallly hard you can see a single white pixel and a single black pixel. If you talk to them, they will tell you that they are sesame seeds with the power of speech that want to be together. No, you can't pick one up and move it to the other, and the whole thing has absolutely no bearing on the game at all. There are no other talking seeds anywhere else. Speaking of ridiculously hard-to-find things from the SNES era...
The Secret of Mana Once you have your dragon to fly around on, you can find two faces hidden in the world's oceans. One is in the northeast corner of the map way out in the middle of the ocean, and the other is in the waters off Southtown. They look a little like the famous "Face on Mars," but otherwise serve no purpose other than being difficult to locate.
Assassin's Creed II In the Assassin's Tomb beneath Santa Maria della Visitazione, Enzio can pull a lever to activate swinging polls. If you wait and look at the water for one minute, though, a giant squid will swim by. Pull the lever again and you'll dodge an angry tentacle in a cut scene. The squid returns in Black Flag, where you can see it take down a sperm whale while diving in a shipwreck, which makes sense because Black Flag takes place on the open seas and not in the streets of Venice.
Mirror's Edge Jokes are rare in Mirror's Edge because as awesome as that game is, it takes itself way too seriously sometimes. There is one pointless bit of fun in the game, though. When you're using the sniper rifle in the "Kate" chapter, shoot the engine of the truck, then the middle white spot in the orange sign of the building behind it. Suddenly a giant rat will come hurtling down the street and pass directly by the carnage you just caused. In all honesty, this should unlock a whole new path in the game where people discuss the giant rats attacking the city, but nope. Right back to cyberpunk.
Perfect Dark Probably the most famous and pointless Easter Eggs in gaming history are the pieces of cheese in Perfect Dark. It's thought that the cheese slices were actually placeholders for cheat rewards that were later abandoned in favor of time challenges. Still, each level has its own well-hidden, can't-be-picked-up and useless piece of cheese stored in a very hard-to-find place. There they lie as a testament to gamers having way too much time on their hands.
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