Tuesday, March 7
Prairie View A&M provides the goats and Houston provides the talent for the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo’s Celebrity Dairy Goat Milking Contest, a frantic 60 seconds of morning radio hosts, TV personalities and journalists vying for the title of Milker Supreme. Self-professed city girl Rhonda O’Donovan, vice chair for events, admits she’s never milked a goat and has no desire to. So, how does she explain the popularity of the contest? Simple. The contest is humanizing and fun and “how often do you see the guy on the local five o’clock news with his hands around a goat teat?” This year, Sunny 99.1’s Dana Tyson returns looking for her record (but challenging) sixth win, as she faces a field of 20 other contestants, including The Eagle’s Jennifer Tyler and the Houston Press’s own Zach Despart. 4 p.m. March 7. NRG Center, One NRG Park. For information, call 832-667-1080 or visit rodeohouston.com. $5 to $10. — Natalie de la Garza
Wednesday, March 8
Going out to dinner sounds like a great date night, right? Not always, and especially as served up in lyricist-composer-librettist Gregg Coffin’s Five Course Love, a musical set in five restaurants where the dates can — and do — go horribly awry. “It’s three actors doing 15 different roles in five different scenes,” says Mitchell Greco, who is directing and choreographing the comedy for Stages Repertory Theatre. A live band handles the score: “They’ll be seen. They are the quote unquote chefs in the kitchen,” says Greco. Coffin is a favorite for this troupe; he wrote the first panto that Stages ever did (Cinderella), as well as Convenience. “He was in town recently. He’s much like this show is. He’s smart, he’s fast and he’s really, really funny,” says Greco. 7:30 p.m. March 8. Continuing 7:30 p.m. Wednesdays and Thursdays, 8 p.m. Fridays, 2:30 and 8 p.m. Saturdays, 2:30 p.m. Sundays. March 8 through April 16. 3201 Allen Parkway. For information, call 713-527-0123 or visit stagestheatre.com. $21 to $75. — Susie Tommaney
Thursday, March 9
Commander in Tweet. Trumplethinskin. Orange Luscious. Funnyman Huggy Lowdown says he has a 1,000 names for President Trump and points to the current political arena as a rich source for new material. “I can name more people in the Trump administration than I can name in the group Jagged Edge. He’s consuming our life. Every day, we can’t not talk about this guy,” says Lowdown. “This administration might not be making America great again, but it damn sure is making Saturday Night Live great again.” In addition to hearing some of Lowdown’s 997 other nicknames for our president, we’ll also catch his hilarious impersonation of FLOTUS during his four-day stint at Houston Improv. “It’s just word play. How Melania would say a speech or translate what she’s going to be saying in Melania words,” says Lowdown. He’s certainly found his niche. 8 p.m. March 9, 8 and 10:30 p.m. March 10, 7 and 9:30 p.m. March 11, 7:30 p.m. March 12. 7620 Katy Freeway. For information, call 713-333-8800 or visit improvhouston.com. $20 to $32. — Susie Tommaney
Memory Web is the third collaborative project between Rob Smith of the University of Houston’s Aura Contemporary Ensemble and Sophia Torres of Psophonia Dance Company. This time around, the two are all systems go, with the incorporation of a seven-person dance team moving along with a robust nine-member ensemble that performs a full program of scored pieces, including works by Frederic Rzewski, Belinda Reynolds and a HyeKyung Lee world premiere. The continuous 50-minute-plus show gives listeners “a better understanding as some sonic gesture that you hear will be shown visually,” says Smith. “Conceptually, it’s based on very disturbing events of the past three years,” says Torres, artistic director. “I was trying to figure out the connective tissue of public places with people being together and not together when something life-changing occurs.” 8 p.m. March 9-11. The MATCH, 3400 Main. For information, call 713-521-4533 or visit matchouston.org. $22. — Steve Jansen
Women and men — they are practically as different as, well, night and day. That’s what prompted John Gray to write his No. 1 best-selling book, making its way from off-Broadway to Houston as a half-theater, half-stand-up show titled Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus LIVE! The one-man show pokes fun at all the typical experiences of dating, marriage and the bedroom. The sexy and fast-paced comedy will have adults laughing like little kids at all the unexpected moments that pop up in relationships. Why not make a date night of it, and perhaps carry the fun back home for a cosmic collision of a different kind? 8 p.m. March 9 and 10, 4 and 8 p.m. March 11, 2 and 6 p.m. March 12. The Hobby Center, 800 Bagby. For information, call 713-315-2525 or visit thehobbycenter.org. $74. — Sam Byrd
In a twist on the traditional romance trajectory, Hedwig and the Angry Inch tells the story of boy turned girl (Hansel/Hedwig) who falls for a dreamy G.I., then becomes scarred by both a botched surgery and his back-stabbing theft of her songs. Their lives intersect years later as she and her band tour the country while rock star Tommy Gnosis plays the big arenas. Now a cult classic, the musical (with book by John Cameron Mitchell) began its life off-Broadway before Mitchell adapted (and starred) in a 2001 film version. Now Hedheads have something to get glammed up about because the Tony Award-winning musical is coming to Houston, complete with Stephen Trask's punk, blues and rock-and-roll score, for a short run at EaDo Playhouse. Colton Berry channels his inner diva as Hedwig and Raven Troup is back-up singer and husband, Yitzhak. 8 p.m. March 9-11, 5 p.m. March 12. 2619 McKinney. For information, call 832-210-5200 or visit eadoplayhouse.com. $25. — Susie Tommaney
Friday, March 10
Save your seat, fellas — this one’s for the girls: The ladies are saddling up for their second consecutive year of Women’s Ranch Rodeo. Twelve all-female groups will compete to claim bragging rights and a coveted gold buckle in what is sometimes misconstrued as a man’s job. Cowgirls ranging from age 18 to 55 are coming from as far away as California for their shot at the title. They’ll compete in the sorting, pasture doctoring and branding events (using tools dipped in flour to leave a mark instead of a hot iron). All the activities simulate what a rancher would face on an ordinary day and help reinforce the safest and most humane ways to raise livestock. Stephanie Jones, co-president of the South Texas Women’s Ranch Rodeo Association, details her excitement. “It’s cool to know a major entity like Houston wants to see women kick butt.” Yes. We. Do! 1 p.m. March 10. NRG Arena, 1 NRG Park. For information, call 832-667-1080 or visit rodeohouston.com. Free to $10. — Sam Byrd
We're in for some trouble now. The 5th Annual Houston Burlesque Fest doubles the fun by importing not one, but two, headliners from Las Vegas. Let's give a round of applause to Kalani Kokonuts (she has a great new western "shoot 'em up" costume by Manuge et Toi) and the lovely, flaming-haired Ms. Redd ("a good woman in a bad girl body") who, along with a bevy of stars from the Ruby Revue Burlesque Show, will keep Houston audiences on the edge of their seats during this three show/two night festival. 8 and 10:30 p.m. March 10, 9:30 p.m. March 11. House of Blues Houston, 1204 Caroline. For information, call 888-402-5837 or visit houstonburlesquefest.com or houseofblues.com/houston. $27 to $100. — Susie Tommaney
The words still haunt. “i found god in myself/and i loved her/i loved her fiercely.” Written a little more than 40 years ago by Ntozake Shange, the passage is contained in the author’s for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf. The choreopoem, a series of 20 separate poems that was backed by dance and music when it opened as a theater production on Broadway in 1976, still matters today. An exhibition curated by New York City-based creator Peter “Souleo” Wright gives a visual ode to Shange via the traveling group exhibition, “i found god in myself: 40th anniversary of Ntozake Shange’s for colored girls…,” that includes work inspired by individual poems in the playwright’s groundbreaking work. 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. March 10. Continuing 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays; 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Thursdays. March 10 through April 15. Houston Museum of African American Culture, 4807 Caroline. For information, call 713-526-1015 or visit hmaac.org. Free. — Steve Jansen
This one's a no-brainer. The biting comedy won playwright David Mamet a Pulitzer Prize for drama in 1984, and soon top-shelf actors (Joe Montegna, Robert Prosky, Al Pacino and Alec Baldwin) were involved in various productions of Glengarry Glen Ross over the years. Now this mercenary tale of Chicago real estate agents who try to sell swampland to unwitting buyers is finding its way to Houston, courtesy of Dirt Dogs Theatre Co. Houston audiences will see Ken Watkins, Jonathan Gonzalez, Bill Giffen, Allen Dorris, Jeff Featherston, Kurt Bilanoski, and Casey Coale suit up for the roles, and it falls to costumer Malinda L. Beckham to make it all happen. 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sunday, 7:30 p.m. Thursday. March 10-18. The MATCH, 3400 Main. For information, call 713-521-4533 or visit matchouston.org or dirtdogstheatre.org. $20. — Susie Tommaney