4 Supervillains That Must Exist in Gotham
Batman has the most awesome rogue's gallery in all of comic history. Only Spider-Man even comes close, and most of his enemies are borderline mentally handicapped. Batman has the Joker, Mister Freeze, Poison Ivy, dozens upon dozens of diverse, nuanced menaces that keep a reader deeply enthralled.
That being said, Batman has some serious problems. The world's greatest detective seems to have no trouble tracking down an enthusiastic psychopath dressed as a clown (Which can't be all that hard), but when it comes to seeking out certain devious masterminds he is not only unable to find them, he apparently doesn't even know they exist.
Bear in mind, Batman is kind of a dick. Rather than use his vast fortune to help fund the police or better security at Arkham Asylum or literally other idea that makes more sense, he dresses in a costume and throws sharp bits of metal at the victims of mental illness or unfortunate industrial accidents. Against anyone not making every night Halloween, he is bloody useless. That's why he'll never get...
In the Gotham legal system there must be a lawyer who is both incredibly talented and so devoid of regard of human life that he has dedicated his career to ensuring that the worst maniacs are kept on the streets. The Joker is famous for somehow escaping the death penalty repeatedly while on trial, not to mention the fact that Batman lobbied the courts for the release of Two-Face based on nothing more than the fact the he'd had plastic surgery. Hugo Strange apparently got all charges dismissed after he returned for a bottomless pit in his first appearance (More on that later), and even though he was convicted of multiple murders and thefts, the Riddler spent at least some time just walking around free as a private detective.
Markiplier's You're Welcome Tour
TicketsThu., Jun. 8, 7:30pm
Something Rotten! (Touring)
TicketsFri., Jun. 9, 8:00pm
Something Rotten! (Touring)
TicketsSat., Jun. 10, 2:00pm
"The Fine Tex Mex Tour Starring William Lee Martin & Alex Reymundo"
TicketsFri., Jun. 16, 8:00pm
Disney Presents The Lion King (Touring)
TicketsTue., Jun. 27, 7:30pm
The implication of this is that there is a lawyer dedicated to the same idea as the Riddler, that of proving that he is better than Batman by undoing all his work through brilliant legal arguments. Every time Batman tries to prove the system works, the Lawarrior steps in to prove it doesn't. That makes him a combination Joker and Riddler, except that he's fantastically better than either one.
You may have gotten the impression from those flip the house shows that building a working home is something that anyone can do, but it's not. Construction is hard, very hard. There's a reason that so much of it is subject to a huge host of regulations. It's because it takes very little for something to go wrong and turn a building into a crater.
We just finished Arkam City, and for the most part the lairs in the game are haphazardly refurbished existing buildings. That makes sense in the context of the game being set in a super prison that encompasses a large section of a ruined portion of Gotham.
However, one look at the marvel of mechanics that the Riddler has spread all over Arkham City makes it impossible to believe he accomplished it all on his own. Rooms full of spinning blades, electrified floors, even a giant human-sized version of three-card-monte. Sure, the Riddler is a genius, but there is no way that he has the skill to create such elaborate lairs without a team of evil contractors who specialize in constructing the perfect villain's lair. This same group must have had the ability to turn a museum into a fully-functioning aquarium capable of safely holding a Great White Shark for the Penguin.
The best part is... all the League's plans work perfectly. It's the incompetence of their clients that screws the pooch.
You know what's just as hard as construction? Communications. Setting up networks to deliver private messages, broadcast information in television or radio streams, and even just making sure that all the intended transmissions go to the intended party is a daunting task that companies spent millions of dollars and man hours on.
Yet, whenever the Joker wants to highjack a television signal, it goes off without a hitch. In fact, that's a staple part of many plots. You just kidnap someone and broadcast your ransom demands to every TV and radio in the city. It always looks so easy. Hell, Two-Face does it in the Dark Knight Returns even though he's been locked up for years while communication technology moved forward by leaps and bounds.
The reason it's so simple is that none of them have to actually know anything about the technology, which is just as well since who has time to worry about taking night classes at ITT Tech when there are banks to rob? Our theory is that they just get in touch with a supervillain named Newsface that is a hacking genius like Oracle. You tell him what you want and when, come over to the studio to film it, and he broadcasts it whenever and however you wish
How many bottomless pits do you run into in the course of every day? Unless you're Super Mario it's probably a number somewhere between zero and you're an idiot. Yet, they are as handy as Starbucks in the Batman universe, and if there are no bottomless pits a river will do. Joker, Clayface, Solomon Grundy, Hugo Strange and who knows how many other villains tumbled out of sight, and their bodies were never found. Yet they always return to plague Gotham.
That's where the Retriever comes in. Supervillians set up a system not-unlike Life Alert that calls the Retriever whenever they end up in a situation like that. It's likely that it's something like a ridiculously expensive teleport device that only works once, or maybe there really is a guy who is like an anti-Superman that flies to supervillains' aid whenever he's called, rescues them, the wait's for the next time he's needed.
And if you have a better theory, we'd love to hear it.
Get the Theater Newsletter
Get a rundown of upcoming theater events and ticket deals in Houston.