5 Photos That Prove Doctor Who Is Real
If you ever want to have a real good time, hide on a rooftop somewhere and blast the sound of the TARDIS landing from a set of powerful speakers. I promise you that you will see at least a couple of people come tearing out of their homes looking for The Doctor. I also promise you that if they find you they will not be happy. Remember kids, guns don't kill people, crushed nerd dreams kill people.
I don't blame those people who come running for two reasons. First, I totally understand. Doctor Who is the ultimate fantasy vehicle because it involves any regular person randomly stumbling across grand adventure. It's like Jesus meets Gandalf and there are lasers and dinosaurs involved somehow. If you can't get enthusiastic about that then I hope your horrible unlife is ended when a box of TPS reports falls on your head.
Second... it's not impossible that some of it isn't true. Hear me out. I've already talked before about how we've already invented a sonic screwdriver, and discovered something that is very close to the Weeping Angels... which is wonderful because according to Steven Moffat the original statue that inspired the Angels was gone when he tried to go back and show his son. So yippee, we're all going to die.
There's also some pretty damned strange pictorial evidence that the whole thing is actually true.
This clay tablet is from the archives of the Mycenaean palaces at Pylos and Knossos. The language is called Linear B, and dates back to at least 1450 BCE. Its predecessor, Linear A, remains undeciphered. If you'll turn your attention to the center you'll see a figure closely resembling a Dalek, though experts say it's just body armor. Other pieces from this collection mention slaves and what looks like it might be a tally of the dead.
It's worth noting that most tablets of Linear B that have been deciphered are detailed lists, with no prose or narrative. Exactly what you might expect from a civilization under the control of the cold, merciless Daleks. Shortly after the time of the tablets begins a period called the Greek Dark Ages, where the mighty Knossos palace was abandoned following a series of disasters. Knossos is supposed to be the location of the mythical minotaur and his labyrinth, a creature The Doctor has also met.
This isn't the only time the Daleks have shown up in ancient works of writing and art. These images are from Garton Slack archaeological sites in East Yorkshire, and date from the Iron Age. Though they have human, if genderless, faces the figures have the oddly triangular Dalek bodies, and what even look like possible plunger and lasers along their sides.
You may call it reaching, but whereas the experts dismissed the Mycenaean figure as armor, they are actually referred to as Dalek-like in a 2004 text called An Archeology of Images dealing with ancient Celtic icons.
Now, I'm not going to lie. That picture up there is almost definitely photoshopped, though I can't track down the exact video from which it originates to prove it definitively. It's obviously the same room in the White House from which Barack Obama announced the death of Osama Bin Laden, and he even appears to be wearing the same suit from that historic day. Nonetheless, plenty of other pictures show that the blue door in the picture is not a normal feature of the hallway.
Nonetheless, Barack Obama has more than a few connections to The Doctor, and I don't just mean that he and the Ninth Doctor look pretty much exactly alike except for skin color and fashion sense. There is the curious fact that Obama is the only sitting U.S. president to ever be portrayed in a Doctor Who story, and that the actor who portrayed him remains unknown to the general public (Obama is credited as himself for archive footage). Then there's this shot from a speech at North Carolina State University where a young woman films him on a TARDIS iPhone.
My favorite, though, is the guestbook from Westminster Abbey where the president signed and dated his visit three years before it happened. On one hand, he is the man who mistakenly said that we have 57 states in a speech. On the other, time travel is necessary for the majority of birther conspiracies. Nah, it's probably not right. I'm pretty sure if The Doctor heard about the drone strikes he'd have pulled the rug out from the president like he did with Harriet Jones.
The fact that seeing one in the White House would be odd even for a geek president like Barack Obama (Though if he hasn't at least thought about it I will eat my fez), the reality is that Police Boxes are all still over the place. There's even a tumblr dedicated to it. That means you would have to find one in a really out there spot to call TARDIS instead of just another relic of a bygone era.
For instance, there's this TARDIS hidden in the stained-glass windows of Saint Joseph's Oratory in Montreal. It's not a major figure, just tucked in the back of one picture, but the resemblance is just striking.
Interesting note... the church is dedicated to Joseph, husband to Mary the mother of Christ. Do you know what Joseph is the patron saint of? Cabinet makers, travelers, social justice, and immigrants.
Last but not least, here we have Matt Smith clearly hanging out with The Beatles. The photo is one by Robert Whitaker, and you can see the original in the book of photos he put together as the official Beatles photographer. Who the young man was sitting next to the Fab Four in 1964 was we don't know, but his resemblance to the Eleventh Doctor is simply uncanny.
Before you call bullshit, interestingly enough there is a picture of a Weeping Angel stalking the band in the exact same book. The Doctor has met The Beatles numerous times in various incarnations, from jamming with them as Six to just hanging out as Ten and Eleven. Eleven even listed joining the band on his list of things to do before he died in "The Wedding of River Song."
I'm not saying that Matt Smith is really The Doctor, or that he actually travels through time.
I'm just saying that he plays him on TV.
Get the Theater and Arts Newsletter
Exclusive discounts and announcements to Houston theater shows and art events