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7 Movie Endings We Would Change For the Hell Of It

Just get on the raft, dude.
Just get on the raft, dude.

A few weeks ago there was a completely pointless brouhaha on the Internet over whether the ending to James Cameron's epic film Titanic was plausible. Not that the Titanic sinking wasn't factual, but whether or not the tragic love affair between Jack and Rose needed to end so abruptly. The noise being drummed up is that Jack and Rose could have easily both survived on the plank of wood. There have even been pictures diagramming this theory.

It's always nice to see that there are real issues in this country people care enough about to make a big stink. James Cameron obviously doesn't like to be proven wrong, so he's enlisted the help of the Mythbuster team to debunk these accusations. Thank God.

While I don't really care whether a fictional character in an overrated movie could have fictionally survived, I would have preferred a different ending to the movie (such as both of them dying). In fact, there are many movies that could have ended differently either due to an ineffective conclusion, one that is disappointing or maybe a different ending would just be funnier.

7. Malcolm X Doesn't Die

Killing off the main character in a film is always shocking, and this movie could be so much better if they just let Malcolm X continue on his path. When he was shot, he was right in the middle of giving a speech, one that the world never heard the ending of. History be damned, let the guy finish what he was about to say.

6. Annie Gets Sent Back to The Orphanage

I don't need anything but you... out of my mansion.

I was never convinced even as a little kid that Daddy Warbucks would turn so quickly from a money-loving orphan hater to an orphan-loving softy. The guy is all about the dolla dolla bill y'all, when in his life would there be time to deal with a bratty little kid? It would be a much better lesson for all the orphans out there if Annie was just sent back to Mrs. Hannigan. Let's not get their hopes up so much.

5. Rudy Gets Annihilated on the Field

Who really believed that Rudy, the "five nuthin', 100 nuthin'" football player would get his day in the sun and actually shine? Not only would it be that much more realistic if Rudy took to the field and got pummeled, but it would also be that much more entertaining.

4. Requiem For A Dream, They Go To Rehab

Requiem For a Dream

is too depressing. Doesn't Hollywood dictate that all movies have a happy ending? Rather than being strung out on heroin and winding up prostituting, jailed and minus an arm, the characters in director Daren Aronofsky's movie should have sent to rehab and the movie could end in a happy rehab talent show like in that Sandra Bullock movie

28 Days

. They could do

Othello

!

 3. Dude, Where's My Car, The Never Find the Car But They Do Find A Dark Depression

The dudes of

Dude, Where's My Car

are too blissfully ignorant. Even when faced with aliens taking over the planet, they remain absurdly upbeat. This is in addition to the fact that the guys have spent an entire day trying to find their car. I lost my car once, I just forgot where I parked it, and I'll tell you I was not happy. I was completely depressed. A lost car means having to cancel insurance and report it to the police. Aside from all of this being a hassle, you have no car, which means taking public transportation, relying on friends for rides and, worse yet, having to tell people that you are dumb enough to have lost your car.

They guys should have gone into a deep depressive state that maybe ended with a drug overdose or at the very least a weekend-long depressing drinking binge.

2. The Wizard Of Oz is Not A Dream At All But a Nightmare

How much better would

The Wizard of Oz

been if when Dorothy starts pointing out her farm friends with that "and you were there, and you were there...," rather than laughing it off, they rip off their face masks to reveal that they are flying monkeys; she is still in Oz and there is no way out.

1. Back To The Future, Marty Never Leaves 1955

The Delorean is busted, the lightening bolt doesn't hit at the right time and Doc Brown is not able to connect the wires to send Marty back to the future. So Marty must spend the next 30 years waiting until the day he can warn himself not to ever go to the past. But if we follow the laws of the time space continuum, Marty will always go back to 1955 and maybe he will even father himself, like in

The Terminator

.


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