7 Of the Strangest Vending Machine Items
Where's the cranberry?
It seems that you can find just about anything these days in a vending machine, soda, chips, a copy of the Rosetta Stone Language Series on CD, a charger for your iPhone, mashed potatoes... Mashed potatoes?
As reported by our sister paper at the New York Village Voice, among various other media sites, mashed potatoes are a popular mainstay amongst Singapore 7-Elevens. So alongside your cherry slushy, you can get a side of the tuberous crop mashed and covered in home style gravy. Yummy. If the traditional Thanksgiving side plopping out of a vending machine isn't weird enough for you, the world was also recently shock and awed by a Minnesota dive bar that has a vending machine stocked with pregnancy tests. Assumingly the idea behind this little piece of genius is to stop yourself from drinking in the event that you might give your unborn fetus fetal alcohol syndrome. Pee on the little white stick and find out if you can have that fifth margarita or not. Ladies, if you are taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom of a bar in Minnesota you have many more problems than just a potential baby.
These items may seem odd coming out of a dispenser, but they are actual rather tame. We dug around the interwebs and found some pretty random vending machine items.
Jersey Boys (Touring)
TicketsTue., Nov. 15, 7:30pm
The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses - Master Quest
TicketsFri., Nov. 18, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Nov. 19, 7:00pm
John Cleese & Eric Idle
TicketsTue., Nov. 29, 7:30pm
Jeff Dunham: Perfectly Unbalanced Tour
TicketsThu., Dec. 1, 7:30pm
When you think of Russia, rain is not the first thing to come to mind, maybe snow or vodka or those funny hats. Nevertheless, if you are running around the streets of Moscow and the sky opens up on you, just find an umbrella vending machine and you are good to go. Now if there was only something to do about Putin.
6. Live Crabs
Apparently in China and Japan you can buy live Shanghai hairy crabs from your local vending machine. The crabs hibernate due to the machine's temperature and then you pop your cash in and out comes a live crab. What you do with your recent purchase is up to you, but may I suggest putting it down the back of someone's shirt? It will be worth every exchanged dollar.
We've all taken a walk of shame in one capacity or another and there is nothing worse than walking in your shame for an entire day! You can clean up to some extent, but the underwear situation is the worst. In Japan, girls never have to fear having that not so fresh feeling as they can just pick up a pair of unmentionables at their corner vending machine. Problem solved, now go out there and sleep over someone's house on a weeknight. 4. Gold Bullion
You never know when the entire economy is just going to completely collapse and we will be forced to go back to the gold standard. So you might as well stock up on gold bullions while you still can and why not get them in the most convenient way possible, from a vending machine!
3. A Vibrating Ring
Condoms are commonplace when it comes to vending machines, and rightfully so. Being in need of a rubber when you least expect it is nothing new. What is odd is being in need of a vibrating ring when you least expect it. The vibrating ring naturally falls under the umbrella of sex toy, and who so desperately needs a sex toy on a 24-hour basis? Maybe I am running with the wrong circles of people? 2. Eggs
How fresh do you really think eggs that are stored in a vending machine could be? Check the expire date on that puppy before you crack it open.
1. Canned Bread
Is this a joke?
To begin with, this is bread in a can, but more over than that, this is bread in a can that you can buy from a vending machine. Which is weirder? It's very hard to say.
Get the Theater Newsletter
Get a rundown of upcoming theater events and ticket deals in Houston.