A Game of Thrones Cookbook? Five Television Shows That Need Cookbooks

The food they eat on Game of Thrones looks delicious.
The food they eat on Game of Thrones looks delicious.

You love Game of Thrones. You quote it obsessively. You have claimed the Iron Throne many times over in the GOT board game. You have even pre-ordered the Game of Thrones Lego set. You are the biggest fan in the world. Or are you? Have you yet enjoyed the opportunity to sit down to a traditional King's Landing feast of quails drowned in butter with a side of bowls of brown? Now you can!

The official Game of Thrones companion cookbook, A Feast of Ice and Fire, was recently released. After a tough day of LARPing, you can whip up any number of meals authentic to the various regions of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. The chefs and authors of the cookbook have even done you the service of finding modern-day substitutions for some of the more difficult-to-find ingredients like dragon eggs or live doves.

Or maybe you would prefer to slice yourself up a piece of "Last Rites Pecan Pie" with a nice tall glass of warm blood? If your tummy starts grumbling every time you watch Sookie and crew serve up a side of death, than you're going to need the soon-to-be-released True Blood cookbook, True Blood: Eats, Drinks, and Bites from Bon Temps. The book features "85 authentic bayou country recipes," loads of salacious introductions really written by the fake characters on the show and over 150 photos of food made to look scary.

Television and cookbooks do not seem like a natural fit, but several shows have put out their own culinary guides over the years. The Sopranos whacked a few recipes, Desperate Housewives whipped up some scandal, Mad Men has instructed on how to shake the perfect martini and even Aunt Bee from The Andy Griffith Show has shared her secret rhubarb pie recipe.

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Hooray for cross-promotion! Every television show deserves its own cookbook. Here are a few suggestions.

The Office: Ideas for Brown-Bagging It

No more boring lunches with coworkers you hate.
No more boring lunches with coworkers you hate.

Lunches can get so boring, especially when you're tethered to your desk making sales calls. The team at Dunder Mifflin is very familiar with the brown-bag lunch. Every once in a while they will treat themselves to a lunch outing at Benihana, but usually you can find the lot of them sitting in the office break room nuking their Lean Cuisines.

The Office cookbook will aid 9-5ers in how to pack an un-dull lunch, including recipes from the show like Kevin's annually prepared chili. Additionally, the book will feature a section by the party planning committee on how to have the best office party without anyone arguing over cake flavors, where to rent a disco ball and how to not set yourself on fire.

Teen Wolf: Fight Your Cravings

He looks very hungry.
He looks very hungry.

Teenage boys will eat you out of house and home, but teenage werewolves will just eat you. We imagine the Teen Wolf cookbook to be replete with protein-heavy recipes like lamb and beef. The cooking instructions would be minimal -- flash fry or don't cook at all! In many places steak tartare is a delicacy, and the whole raw food thing is huge right now even with people who have not been bitten by a blood-hungry lycanthrope.

 

Breaking Bad: Kicked Up Everyday Recipes

Probably not dishwasher-safe.
Probably not dishwasher-safe.

They do not do a lot of eating on Breaking Bad, save the occasional munchies-fueled pizza party of Jesse and his drug-addled friends; still, this cookbook writes itself. It's a one-ingredient type of recipe collection -- the one ingredient being crystal meth. How can you use it to spice up your boring weekday chicken? Add it to your coffee cake for a real pick-me-up. Toss a little meth in your ambrosia salad and see who has the most popular dish at the potluck!

Doctor Who: Creature Confections

The Adipose might as well be marshmallows.
The Adipose might as well be marshmallows.

How much fun would a dessert-only cookbook based on the strange alien adversaries of the Doctor be? Would there be a Marshmallow Fluff Foamasi sculpted into the form of humanoid chameleons? Maybe you would enjoy a big bowl of Primord Pudding? Since an ooze-based by-product mutated the Primords, a pudding is a natural fit. Perhaps at your next book club you could serve the ladies a Travist Polong Trifle. The Travist Polong is an orange, nasty-looking thing with five eyes, which can be emulated with pumpkin pudding and Oreos instead of ladyfingers.

 

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Bar Food from the City of Brotherly Love

Yum!
Yum!

There are certainly collections of Philly's most famous foodstuffs, but this cookbook will capture all that is revolting and awkward about the city in tandem with the show's despicable characters. How about a cheeseteak wrapped in another cheesesteak, one with Geno's famous recipe and one with Pat's? Maybe the book would include a turkey, ham and Swiss hoagie soaked in beer batter and fried into a greasy mess? Of course, there would need to be a section on how to make the worst pizza on the East Coast. Plus, each recipe in the book should note that everything tastes better when you add a squirt of Cheez Whiz to it.


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