A Mirror-Ball-and-Chain: Top 10 Dancing with the Stars Rap Sheets

Indictment or no, "The Hammer" managed to outrank Clyde "The Glide" Drexler.
Indictment or no, "The Hammer" managed to outrank Clyde "The Glide" Drexler.
ABC

Since its first season in the summer of 2005, ABC's Dancing with the Stars has been an arena for troubled celebrities to ass-clown themselves back into America's heart. And not just the troubled--also the shamed (David Hasselhoff), the forgotten (Jennifer Grey), the absurd (Bristol Palin) and the elderly (Buzz Aldrin).

Obviously a Texas judge wasn't moved by former Republican leader Tom DeLay's moves during season nine of the show. Yesterday DeLay was sentenced to three years in prison after being found guilty for money laundering and conspiracy.

Season 9 of DTWS was the series' most checkered season, with DeLay competing under indictment and three other competitors with arrest records.

We decided to take a look at the reality show's top 10 bad boys and girls.

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10. Mario Season: 6 DWTS overall ranking: 27 While he had a clean record during Season-6 competition, the R&B singer best known for "Just a Friend 2002" was arrested for assaulting his mom last October. All charges were dismissed when Mario's mother Shawntia Hardaway stated under oath that Mario never assaulted her, and that she was high on heroin when she made the complaint to police. He makes the list purely by proxy.

9. Laila Ali Season: 2 DWTS overall ranking: 11 Ali maintains the highest overall ranking for a contestant with a checkered past. And Ali's isn't really all that checkered--the daughter of "The Greatest" spent some time in a juvenile hall for shoplifting when she was 15.

Osbourne can slap us anytime.
Osbourne can slap us anytime.
nydailynews.com

8. Kelly Osbourne Season: 9 DWTS overall ranking: 43 Although she'd been in and out of drug treatment facilities, Osbourne didn't face any serious jail time after she was arrested in 2009 for slapping a journalist at a London club.

7. Steve-O Season: 8 DWTS overall ranking: 113 In March 2008, Steve-O's Jackass friends, including ringleader Johnny Knoxville, forcibly checked him into Thalians Mental Health Center for drug addiction. Steve-O later pleaded guilty to felony possession of cocaine, but he avoided jail by completing treatment.

6. Tatum O'Neal Season: 2 DWTS overall ranking: 80 Since her divorce from John McEnroe in 1994, O'Neal has battled drug addiction. After her Season Two stint on DWTS, in which she was eliminated in the second round, she was arrested for allegedly buying crack in 2008. She escaped with a misdemeanor and avoided jail by agreeing to attend two half-day sessions in a treatment program.

 

Irvin: Can't escape the hot spot.
Irvin: Can't escape the hot spot.
nydailynews.com

5. Michael Irvin Season: 9 DWTS overall ranking: 91 The former Dallas Cowboys receiver (and Hall-of-Famer) has been embroiled in legal troubles since 1996, when he was arrested for cocaine possession. He has also faced allegations of assault, sexual assault and further drug possession charges. In early 2010, a Florida woman accused him of rape, but prosecutors declined to file charges due to lack of evidence.

4. Macy Gray Season: 9 DWTS overall ranking: 91 R&B singer Macy Gray stole some gas while she was in college in 1989 and spent a week in jail. Probably just stoned and forgot to pay.

3. Shannen Doherty Season: 10 DWTS overall ranking: 88 In 2001, former 90210 star, registered Republican and prolific Playboy model Doherty was sentenced to 10 days in jail, three years probation and a $1500 fine for drunk driving. 20 days of community service subbed for the jail time.

2. Lil' Kim Season: 8 DWTS overall ranking: 23 The contestant with the longest jail stint is also the second highest-ranked competitor in the bunch, having scored five perfect-10 dances on the show. In 2005, she served a yearlong term in prison after she was convicted of conspiracy and perjury for lying to a grand jury about her co-manager's and bodyguard's involvement in a shooting outside a Manhattan studio.

1. Tom DeLay Season: 9 DWTS overall ranking: 110 DeLay disappointed Texans with a piss-poor 110 ranking, one below magician and blowhard Penn Gillette, and one above laundry-advocate Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. There's poetic justice in someone nicknamed "The Hammer" being handed a prison term. But DeLay's DWTS performance wasn't nearly as embarrassing as former Rocket Clyde "The Glide" Drexler's uncommitted turn on the show (ranked 114). But then, Clyde can keep his chin up--he's an NBA champion and DeLay's a convicted criminal.


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