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Get Out Your Reading Glasses, Britney Spears Is Writing a Book

Yeah... I don't know how I feel about this book either.
Yeah... I don't know how I feel about this book either.


There are some days when we should all thank our lucky stars that we can read (assuming that you can because you are reading this). Reading is the cornerstone of knowledge and democracy and freedom. And today, on this day of all things related to democracy and freedom, you should be thankful for your ability to read for yet another reason. Britney Spears just signed a book deal with HarperCollins. According to sources, the poptart singer will be writing a fictionalized novel about her life.

They say that the truth is stranger than fiction and as far as Spears goes, it ain't getting much stranger.

What "fictionalized" accounts of her life will make it in the book? Let's speculate!

Remember that time when...

Britney wore her panties on the cover of Rolling Stone?

Get Out Your Reading Glasses, Britney Spears Is Writing a Book

Britney wore that flesh-colored bodysuit at the MTV Music Awards?

Nothing toxic about that getup.
Nothing toxic about that getup.

Britney tried to act?

Britney so stupidly broke up with Justin Timberlake?

 

She made out with Madonna and Christina Aguilera?

I bet they never talk anymore.
I bet they never talk anymore.

She got wasted in Vegas and got married for 55 hours?

Brit took up Kabbalah?

This happened?

Why?!
Why?!

And then this happened?

Brit-Brit went to rehab for one day?

Britney went crazy, lost custody of her kids to Federline, shaved her head and beat a car with an umbrella, and then she was admitted into a psych ward, and when she left she was under house arrest and couldn't leave but still managed to seem like she was on drugs? And was often photographed eating Cheetos.

Why are you doing that?
Why are you doing that?

Britney sort of disappeared for a while and when we saw her again she looked... okay?

The world decided Britney was all right in our book and so we allowed her to write one of her own? (This is pending.)


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