Gurgle Hiss Spit The Big Wedding Sigh Fart Noise

Perish in a fire.
Perish in a fire.

When are we going to start realizing what Robert De Niro is doing to himself and get him some help? When will Katherine Heigl stop playing an icy bitch in every movie that she ever signs on for? Does Diane Keaton know how to do anything else these days besides play an ex-wife? Why can't Susan Sarandon be in everything as a sexy GILF? Robin Williams as a priest!! What a world!

And lastly, won't someone burn the master tapes to most Motown songs so that shitty rom-coms stop using them in their trailers? I love Motown, but I can't take one more sassy girl group soundtracking the preview for a film about uppity see you in tees getting married, divorcing, knocked up or getting cancer.

I knew all of this about the trailer for the upcoming film The Big Wedding by merely reading the cast list on IMDb. It wasn't until I actually turned off one of the prison documentaries I was watching (Cholos In Lock-Up, I think) that I found that my suspicions were all correct.

And yes, people get punched in the face and boner pills are involved. Oh, and welcome back, Christine Ebersole. I actually missed you.

See you all at the theater on October 26 for The Big Wedding.


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