Honoring the Atlantis: TV's Cheesiest Space Travel
Two weeks ago, folks crossed their fingers for the sun to come out, gathered in droves at Cape Canaveral to wish the Atlantis's crew a heart-warming send-off, and now, it's time for the shuttle Atlantis to head home. On Thursday, the space ship will touch back down in Florida, ending this country's expedition of reusable shuttles. Some are excited for what the future of NASA holds and others are disappointed that the program ended without completing its original mission. We're not too worried. We know that space travel will continue because we've grown up watching it on television, and TV never lies.
We're just hoping that the next incarnation of spacemen remains as cool and down to Earth as the crew of the Atlantis, because if we've learned anything from television, it's that space travel can turn you into a real cheese ball. In honor of this end of an era, Art Attack put together a list of some of the cheesiest space travel TV shows we could find.
It's About Time Few premises for space travel television programming could be as bizarre as this. It's space, so there's the futuristic element to it, but the two astronauts accidentally travel back into prehistoric times by breaking the speed of light. Naturally, they make friends with cavemen and women - hilarity ensues.
U.F.O. If only the 1980 that really happened was as sexy and swinging as the 1980 predicted in the '70s television show U.F.O. In U.F.O., a group of highly secretive military officers spend their days scanning the solar system for unidentified flying objects to stop them from reaching Earth. If that wasn't ridiculous enough for you, how about the fact that many of the SHADO (Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization) team's women had purple hair?
Space Patrol It's understandable that a children's sci-fi show might not be all that thought-provoking, and given that it was made in the mid-1950s, we understand its special effects weren't all that special. However, there must have been more creative names for the United Planets Space Patrol team's futuristic toys besides "miniature space-o-phones" and "atomolights." Seriously, that was the best they could come up with?
Star Trek: Enterprise "Enterprise" was the last and ultimately worst of the Star Trek catalog. You might think that, with Scott Bakula as El Capitán of the Starship Enterprise, this show couldn't go wrong. Then you bear witness to "Faith of the Heart," the horrendous theme song that played each week before you could even get to any of the action. It's no wonder this show only lasted four seasons.
They Came From Outer Space "They Came From Outer Space" was not so much about humans traveling to other planets as it was about two alien brothers traveling throughout Los Angeles. The two brothers, Abe and Bo, spent their time in a 1959 Corvette talking about either food or sex or both. It had a very Married: With Children feel to it, but much campier, with schticky jokes and ridiculous plot lines. The show could have been tolerable if it had only been a half hour, but oddly enough, it was an hour-long comedy that aired on Saturday afternoons.
Buck Rogers In the 25th Century Buck Rogers was first conceived as a film because of the massive success of the Star Wars franchise. Buck Rogers was a corny time/space travel-esque show, complete with a comedic sidekick robot voiced by Mel Blanc (Daffy Duck). The show often poked fun at Buck's inability to fit in with his new 25th century surroundings. The problem was that it wasn't all that funny. Gil Gerard, who played Buck, also didn't find himself amusing, and in the second season of the show, attempted to turn it into something more serious... like Star Trek. It didn't work and was canceled after two seasons.
Defying Gravity Defying Gravity was more or less Grey's Anatomy in space. The story followed a group of astronauts on its way to Mars. Their exploits were constantly monitored for reconnaissance purposes and to see that these horny astronauts stayed out of trouble. Each one was fitted with libido-suppressing devices to make sure they kept their space suits on. Apparently, when you go to space all you want to do is roll around in the hay, or anti-gravitational chambers, and half of the show was about sex in space. Now that we think about it, what was so bad about this show again?
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