Iced in Again? Time for a Winter Movie Marathon
Forget that it's sub-zero (Celsius) and get with the hero.
Now that we're in the middle of "Snowpocalypse II: The Avalanching," it's time to consider how you're going to spend your involuntary confinement. As of this writing, pretty much every local school district is closed today, as well as county and city services.
So you're stuck at home, maybe with the kids. Given that you live in Houston, you probably can't endure sub-freezing temperatures for more than a few seconds before cracking like very cold glass. Might as well go for the next best thing and watch some frigid movies instead.
While you're huddled beneath a blanket and shivering at the thought of the mercury dipping all the way into the upper 20s, bear in mind it will be nearly 40 degrees colder in Minneapolis today. That's cold, you betcha.
Netflix Presents: Here Comes the Funny Tour
TicketsTue., Apr. 11, 8:00pm
TicketsFri., Apr. 14, 7:00pm
Festival of Laughs featuring Mike Epps
TicketsFri., Apr. 14, 7:30pm
TicketsSat., Apr. 15, 8:00pm
Jeff Dunham: Perfectly Unbalanced
TicketsSun., Apr. 23, 3:00pm
The Thing (1982)
"Man is the warmest place to hide," which technically isn't true (lions and cows run around 101 degrees Fahrenheit). Unfortunately, our favorite shape-shifting xenomorph only had human beings and dogs to choose from.
Presumably you'll have children underfoot today, and few things are more ... precious ... than spending an entire shut-in day with twitchy juveniles. If you can get to your local theater via surface streets, this should give you a cool 90 minute respite.
Ice Station Zebra (1968)
It may star Patrick The Prisoner McGoohan, Rock Giant Hudson, and Ernest Airwolf Borgnine. But in any movie billed as "a race against time at the top of the world," my money's on Jim Brown.
Actually, if you have the wherewithal, I suggest you purchase Greg Rucka's excellent Eisner award-winning graphic novel and read that instead. But since most of you are probably not risking a trip to the comic book store today and your only other options are likely The Chew, you'll have to make do with the very inferior, Kate Beckinsdale film version. It's still plenty cold (though I like how Beckinsdale's face remains uncovered even in -30 temps), but even the shower scene director Dominic Sena shoehorns in can't make this very watchable.
Cool As Ice (1991)
Vanilla Ice's cinematic debut doesn't even fall into that charitable "so bad it's good" category (Spice World, Road House, Howling III: The Marsupials), but it does have the word "ice" in the title, and serves as the perfect anthropological example of what happens when outdated 80s sensibility collides with horrible early 90s fashion.
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