May Kickstarter Round-Up: A Video Game Console Bar and Stories From Space
Once a month we'll be bringing you a look at some of the best local Kickstarter campaigns in order to let you know what's getting ready to be unleashed through the help of small investors.
Press Start Bar: I love video games, and I also love drinking, and for a long time my venue of choice when I wanted to combine those loves was Joystix. There's a problem with Joystiz, though... get a bunch of drunks trying to pull a win out of a 30-year-old Donkey Kong cabinet and you're going to see a lot of out of order signs. Ryan Thauburn has the answer.
His plan is to open a bar where gaming is console based, both classic and current systems. Want to take a girl out for drinks and a few rounds of Mario Kart? This is the place to be, and it's an idea that is long overdue. Did I mention that by the time it's built there will be a light rail line that takes you straight from the University of Houston right by it?
Obviously this isn't a cheap idea, and if you want to see some real rewards you'll have to go in pretty big. $100 is the best bet as it nets you swag, a member's card that gets you into special events, and a ticket to a burlesque show. Those who really want to see this happen should think about dropping $1,000, which gets you out of fees for booths and rooms and let's you help craft a signature drink for the venue.
Goal: $50,000 by June 2
Open World Dance Foundation presents CINDERELLA
TicketsThu., Nov. 10, 7:30pm
Jersey Boys (Touring)
TicketsTue., Nov. 15, 7:30pm
The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses - Master Quest
TicketsFri., Nov. 18, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Nov. 19, 7:00pm
John Cleese & Eric Idle
TicketsTue., Nov. 29, 7:30pm
Story Time From Space: Until recently I thought that having David Tennant and Christopher Eccleston read my daughter bedtime stories on YouTube was the greatest thing that ever existed. Sorry, Doctors, love you both, but you have been eclipsed. Now you can have real life astronauts read stories to children from the International Space Station! Even the icy vacuum between the stars isn't cooler than that.
Earlier this year five books by astronaut and author Jeffrey Bennet about an adventurous astronaut dog named Max were launched into orbit and are already aboard the ISS. So the Story Time in Space program is already underway, it's just a matter of getting it some wider coverage. Oh, and the Kickstarter is aiming to launch equipment to the astronauts so they can do fun little science experiments with kids. That is the closest thing I can think of to having God show your children how He made the platypus. I've covered a lot of Kickstarters over the years, but this one, THIS ONE, tops them all.
The bare bones goal is to help edit videos and set up a website/online library for the story project. Higher stretch goals involve creating whole new educational initiatives that will allow teachers to work with astronauts in the name of teaching children that space is awesome. $60 is probably you're best bottom contribution as it gets you a hardcover Max book and a Story Time in Space bookmark. On the other hand, $1,500 gets you a Skype session with an astronaut. That sounds like a bargain to me.
Goal: $35,00 by July 6
Yep, that's exactly what I thought a man named Gaylord W. Anguish would look like.
Life of a Spy by Gaylord W. Anguish: I rarely do authors for this column because 90 percent of authors on Kickstarter are insane in a way that is worthy of song and legend. Gaylord W. Anguish (For reals) tops them all though.
Mr. Anguish wants $7,000 to write a non-fiction book about the life of a former KGB spy named Gergor Best, a man that Google is telling me exists purely in Anguish's imagination since searching for the name only brings up other crowdfunded sites related to the book. There is no other information about the project except under risks/challenges. I will now quote that section verbatim.
Possible obstacles may well be death of the subject, and/or U. S. Govt. getting in the way of the information gathering necessary to complete the book.
This would actually be Anguish's second book. In 2005 he vanity-printed a spy novel called Old Priest that received several five-star reviews on Amazon (By users with absolutely no other activity), and a single one-star review by an actual person that I shall also quote verbatim.
I give it 1 star because there is no 0 stars. It is the worst written book I have ever tried to read. I have tried to force my way through thinking it would get better. It never does. I tried over and over and over. It is so badly written I had to look at the page numbers to be sure it wasn't bound out of order. I think the other reviews were written by the authors mother and she never read it. GARBAGE !!!!!
Congratulations, Gaylord W. Anguish. In six years of professional pop culture commentary I declare you officially the wackalooniest man I have ever come across in Houston. Shine on, you crazy diamond. At least you give people an autographed copy of the physical book for $20.
Goal: $7,000 by July 10.
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