Ah, the college life, where you learn things about the world, yourself and the opposite sex that you couldn't learn from 12 years of elementary, junior and high school. Even with the Internet and unlimited amounts of free music, movies and porn, you are still clueless, hapless and crude. Hell, most adults enter college life and never leave, forever stuck in sports bars, and forever alone.

In the next few weeks, freshmen all over the country will be converging on their new schools, fresh-faced and ready for whatever the world throws their way. BMOC's will be knocked down a rung, and the prom queens will be competing against older, more experienced girls for female domination. Oh, and you know, there is also actual academic stuff in there somewhere, too.

This week's meme, Uber Frosh, is the quintessential clueless freshman, set loose on the world for the first time away from Mom and Dad. After years of watching college comedies, he knows his shit, and will smash some bitches, and smoke some shit. Or so he thinks.

The closest I ever got to the lows of being a put-upon college freshman was Marine Corps boot camp, and even once I started going to college after that, I would like to think I wasn't as lame as Uber Frosh. Even community college is awash in banal freshmen who are angry they aren't at College Station or in Austin with their friends, shuffling into class late, their Aggie flip-flops clopping under them.