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Pop Rocks: Ann Coulter Tweets to Black America During Oscars Over Racism of 12 Years a Slave Win

Queen Coulter of Blowhardia.
Queen Coulter of Blowhardia.

I am routinely amazed by the way pretty much any topic can be spun into a belief that suits the speaker. Take puppies, for example. Everyone loves them (or do they?). They are entirely benign (or are they?). Yet, discuss them with someone who has a political slant to support and, miracle of miracles, that person will find a way to turn puppies into a political topic. For example, I bring up puppies. You are are obsessed with the second amendment and immediately suggest that, next, Obama will take away dogs because they might be used for protection... unless the puppies are pit pulls and then you'll say you need a gun to protect you from pit bull-wielding thugs (i.e. black people).

Think this won't work? Just give it a try on the crazy uncle at the next holiday. You'll be blown away with the results.

Speaking of crazy, there's Ann Coulter, the author and political commentator who loves to ruffle the feathers of "libtards" about as much as a fat guy enjoys a cheeseburger. During the Academy Awards on Sunday, she took to the Twitter and spent a few tweets ranting against the reverse racism of Hollywood and cheering on Matthew McConaughey's speech that included reference to God. Sure, McConaughey's "God" is probably about as similar to Coulter's as Ghandi's, but nevertheless, she went on with her typical business.

Her prediction that a Hispanic director would be the token win for Gravity because the reverse racist cards were stacked in favor of 12 Years a Slave for best picture came true and she was happy to pat herself on the back repeatedly. This ignores, of course, that 12 Years was an absolutely phenomenal film, despite its depiction of white people as heartless and cruel to slaves in pre-Civil War America. I mean, how could that be?

Coulter's rants would be mildly amusing if they weren't so predictable. She's like a stand up comedian that never writes new jokes. The first time, they might be funny. The second time, not so much. By the tenth time, you hope the guy gets on Monster.com and finds a new job fast to put both himself and his audience out of their collective misery.

 

But, this is politics where you do much more than just beat a dead horse. If you grind up the bones of that poor decaying bastard and snort the dust, you'll be imbued with a kind of magical power that makes you as popular on the political talk circuit as you are boring and repetitive. In Coulter's case -- much like most of the staff at Fox News, MSNBC and the dozens of gas bags on political talk radio -- it has turned her into a kind of Wicked Witch of the Right, an Aryan Goddess, part Tilda Swinton's White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia and part Cate Blanchett's Lady of the Golden Wood in Lord of the Rings. Some might argue she bears a greater resemblance to Blanchett's Blue Jasmine, but whatever.

Thing is, she knows exactly what to say to piss off those who disagree with her and fire up those who think she is spot on. That is a talent worthy its own kind of award in the form of best-selling books and talk show paydays. But let's not mistake it for rightness or wrongness, because that isn't what Coulter is after.

There's an old joke about female singers that goes as follows:

Q. How many female singers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. She holds the light bulb and the world revolves around her.

This is Coulter. Her success is predicated on her outlandishness, not her talent. Had she real talent for politics, she'd be a politician or a professor, not a blow hard that tweets about the Oscars and how Hollywood hates white, straight people. Anyone can do that. She just does it with the right amount of indignation and smug self satisfaction as to win her an audience.

It is not unlike fans of super heroes. You can tell them until you are blue in the face that Iron Man 3 was a piece of crap, but they'll watch it anyway. They are already hooked. Coulter's audience has already bought into the hype. They've invested so much in her opinion at this point, they are obliged to watch and listen, even if her dialogue is more Ishtar than Amadeus.


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