—————————————————— Pop Rocks: Five Celebrity Couples More Boring Than Giuliana and Bill Rancic | Art Attack | Houston | Houston Press | The Leading Independent News Source in Houston, Texas

Pop Rocks

Pop Rocks: Five Celebrity Couples More Boring Than Giuliana and Bill Rancic

If your response to the news that reality couple Bill and Giuliana Rancic were expecting their first child was "Who the fuck are Bill and Giuliana Rancic?" you're likely not alone.

But rather than simply posit the question on Twitter like so many Dick Clark-deprived youngsters, I chose to edumacate myself. Three minutes later, I know she is a TV host on E!, and he is a TV host of a syndicated show called America Now. He was also the winner of the first season of The Apprentice, and I suppose anyone who conquered the infernal Omarosa is worthy of some recognition.

So they're small "c" celebrities. And yet, their fertility woes and Giuliana's cancer struggles at least make their story a somewhat compelling one, certainly when compared to other celebrity couples.

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively After the debacle that was Green Lantern, Reynolds seems forever doomed to wiseass supporting roles, while Lively ended up making Reynolds's ex, Scarlett Johansson, look like an accomplished thespian by comparison. I imagine them spending most evenings gazing at their own abs in their respective bathroom vanities.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith One might be tempted to overlook his recent string of phoned-in movie roles (and rumored to be in production: Bad Boys 3, I Robot 2 and Hancock 2) or give undue credit to her hilarious hard rock stylings with "Wicked Wisdom," but when the most entertaining thing about you over the last ten years is that review of your house written by ?uestLove of the Roots, you're pretty damn dull.

Bert and Ernie Those shirts? Pigeons? Paper clips? That's hardly keeping it fabulous, gentlemen.

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar