Pop Rocks: Five Celebrity Couples More Boring Than Giuliana and Bill Rancic

Who?
Who?

If your response to the news that reality couple Bill and Giuliana Rancic were expecting their first child was "Who the fuck are Bill and Giuliana Rancic?" you're likely not alone.

But rather than simply posit the question on Twitter like so many Dick Clark-deprived youngsters, I chose to edumacate myself. Three minutes later, I know she is a TV host on E!, and he is a TV host of a syndicated show called America Now. He was also the winner of the first season of The Apprentice, and I suppose anyone who conquered the infernal Omarosa is worthy of some recognition.

So they're small "c" celebrities. And yet, their fertility woes and Giuliana's cancer struggles at least make their story a somewhat compelling one, certainly when compared to other celebrity couples.

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively After the debacle that was Green Lantern, Reynolds seems forever doomed to wiseass supporting roles, while Lively ended up making Reynolds's ex, Scarlett Johansson, look like an accomplished thespian by comparison. I imagine them spending most evenings gazing at their own abs in their respective bathroom vanities.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith One might be tempted to overlook his recent string of phoned-in movie roles (and rumored to be in production: Bad Boys 3, I Robot 2 and Hancock 2) or give undue credit to her hilarious hard rock stylings with "Wicked Wisdom," but when the most entertaining thing about you over the last ten years is that review of your house written by ?uestLove of the Roots, you're pretty damn dull.

Bert and Ernie Those shirts? Pigeons? Paper clips? That's hardly keeping it fabulous, gentlemen.

 

Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow He helms the soporific supergroup Coldplay, she's apparently decided her acting career should take a back seat to her weekly "lifestyle journal." Maybe that John Doe wasn't such a bad guy after all.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Everyone who believes this marriage lasts six months after the release of Breaking Dawn, Part 2, please raise your hand. That's what I thought. At least by then we'll be spared any more bored treks down the red carpet or snotty interviews. Hey, remember all that positive press she got for Into the Wild? That was a fun few weeks.


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