MORE

Pop Rocks: It's Not Porn, It's HBO, Which Is Basically Porn (NSFW)

Or is it porn...?
Or is it porn...?

Sometime during last season's Game of Thrones, I came across an interesting interview with series creators David Benioff and Dan Weiss, who were chatting about the often-mocked, overly graphic sex scenes which have become synonymous with the show. According to the two, the television show has nothing on the books in terms of under-the-royal-covers, and the gratuitous sex is actually quite purposeful. "Sex grabs people," Weiss is quoted with saying in Mother Jones, and while we are all being viscerally grabbed by Littlefinger's nudey prostitutes, we may be more inclined to pay attention to his long, boring back-story about such and such.

The term has been coined as "sexposition," meaning that while necessary plot points are being introduced, the directors throw the audience some eye-candy to ensure that they don't tune out. Good lord, what did we all do about keeping up with a narrative before cable television and boobs?

Whether you buy into this theory or think that Benioff and Weiss are just a couple of pervs, Game of Thrones is far from the only HBO program that is overly-sexualized. In fact, if you didn't know that you were watching the acclaimed, award-winning network, you might just assume you turned on some random a skinflick.

Cue the hilarious video that has been circulating the Internet and causing in-depth conversations about girth on Reddit, "It's not Porn, It's HBO."

The video features actors describing actual scenes from HBO series, such as

Girls

,

Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire

and

True Blood

to horrified friends and family members. By the actors' summaries, one might think they are giving a play-by-play of a movie that you order off of one of "those" websites, which you can only find with keywords that scare old ladies, that ship their DVDs in packages with fake labels like "Sunshine Club" so that your co-workers don't find out about your filthy habits, and then you watch them alone in your basement while your wife and children are at taekwondo and afterward you take two scalding hot showers to try and purge yourself of the burning sensation in your eyes and then you cry yourself to sleep while your wife reads the latest Philipa Greggory novel. That's exactly what this Youtube video sounds like they are talking about, except it's all about HBO.

There is no doubt that HBO has gotten more and more filthy over the years in the name of high art, but integrating sex into its series is nothing new to the Home Box. Here are the top five dirtiest HBO shows. 5. The Wire

The Wire

? No way Jose! The greatest show ever to grace our television sets is all about gang wars and saving Baltimore's youth and corruption in the navy yards... and McNulty bedding every piece of tail he comes across. Must I remind you of the prostitute episode in which he was "required" to let two hookers give him you know whats in the name of justice? That show saw more action than a toilet bowl at a Denny's after a bulimic convention.

 

4. Sex And the City

Pop Rocks: It's Not Porn, It's HBO, Which Is Basically Porn (NSFW)

Since we've all been watching this show for the past few years in syndication on basic cable, we may have forgotten where the word "sex" in the title came from. This show was rampant with explicit content: Miranda's adventure in rear entry, Charlotte and "the rabbit," and then there was Samantha who barely wore clothing for the entire first three seasons of the show. Only Carrie was spared from showing off her goods, surely due to contractual limitations.

3. True Blood

Pop Rocks: It's Not Porn, It's HBO, Which Is Basically Porn (NSFW)

Vampire sex is not just dirty as all hell, it's bloody! What goes on within the confines of Bon Temps is salacious enough to put color into Dracula's face, and that dude is really, really pale.

2. Girls

No

Girls

isn't porn-esque at all, it's risque. Stop being foolish now; it's porn. It is just unbecoming (zing!) and awkwardly real; so, it's basically amateur porn. Or it's more like that video you and your husband made a few months ago to spice up your marriage after two and a half white wine spritzers but have been too embarrassed to watch or acknowledge. Don't bother; just watch Lena Dunham and her current beau do it if you really want to see how unattractive you looked.

1. Game of Thrones

Pop Rocks: It's Not Porn, It's HBO, Which Is Basically Porn (NSFW)

It really doesn't get any dirtier than this series. And on top of the fact that in King's Landing undergarments cease to exist, there is also the whole "midget porn" thing going on, which takes your fetish to a whole different level both anatomically and theoretically.


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >