Pop Rocks: Why Stop At Boy Meets World? Five Other Crappy '90s Sitcoms They Should Reboot
"And then what happened?" Asked no one anywhere.
Now that the '80s have been effectively plundered of all their entertainment-related treasures, it's time for that most vanilla of decades, the 1990s, to give up the goods. Starting with a sitcom I can honestly say I never watched:
After months of speculation surrounding the "Boy Meets World" reboot, "Girl Meets World," it seems like the pieces are finally starting to come together.
Early last week, EW broke the news that 11-year-old Rowan Blanchard was cast to play the series' Girl, Riley Matthews. Since then, producers have also filled the spot of Riley's best friend, Maya (Sabrina Carpenter), and announced the addition of two more roles (including one, Shamus Farkle, who sounds a whole lot like "BMW's" resident geek Minkus).
So, who else can we expect to see on Girl Meets World? And what will Cory and Topanga be like now that they're all grown up?
Yes, who and what? The "why" is already answered, because just as with the decade before, kids who came of age in the '90s are entering uncertain adulthood and ready to soothe their nerves with some nostalgia. And this is just the beginning.
Family Matters Original Run: 1989-1998 Original Premise: "The Winslow family is a pretty normal family except for one thing: their neighbor, klutzy genius Stephen Urkel, whose misguided inventions threaten disaster at every opportunity. And really, doesn't that describe most families?" Give 'em the Reboot: Urkel was like Detective Munch of ABC's TGIF, crossing over with Step by Step, Full House, and Boy Meets World, all on a show that originally spun off from Perfect Strangers.
As for a reboot, Urkel -- like all adolescent nerds -- has grown into a bitter, reclusive adult. Laura (Kellie Shanygne Williams) returns to Chicago in an attempt to draw him out, but in the end it's the mysterious and brutal murder of Carl (Reginald VelJohnson), the only person Steve ever looked up to, that brings him out of hiding to find the killer. To find out if he succeeds, tune in to Family Matters: Special Victims Urkel.
Blossom Original Run: 1990-1995 Original Premise: "A teenage girl living in a house run by men -- after her mother ran out on them -- dreams what life would be like if she lived in a more conventional family and her entire life was composed of very special episodes." Give 'em the Reboot: Irreparably changed by a two-father upbringing (the ugly truth comes out) "Blossom" splits her time between Keno parlors and trips to the drugstore to buy cough syrup. During dry betting spells, she rooms with brother Joey, now a ranch hand, whose constant utterances of "Whoa!" never fail to cause hilarity at horse breaking time.
And as for Blossom's ex-best friend ... well, we all know what happened to Six.
Mad About You Original Run: 1992-1999 Original Premise: "Paul and Jamie Buchman are New York newlyweds coping with dilemmas familiar to all of us, such as finding a reliable dog walker and dealing with a wife who shows no outward signs of affection toward her husband." Give 'em the Reboot: Daughter Mabel is all grown up and attending NYU, where she always finds herself playing her long-divorced parents off against each other in the wacky Stark Raving Mad About You. Mom's an agoraphobe 9-11 "truther," while Dad's despair at never experiencing love again has driven him from documentary filmmaking into German scat porn.
Step By Step Original Run: 1991-1998 Original Premise: "Frank Lambert, construction worker and father of 3, and Carol Foster, beautician and mother of 3, spontaneously get married while on vacation. Now they and their children have to learn to live together and love each other. It's not easy, but they're taking it step by step." Give 'em the Reboot: Frank and Carol are Time Lords, and are forced to deal with the ramifications of past realities intersecting with their own, including the mysterious appearance of a number of wealthy, amoral Texans and a man and woman claiming to be old roommates of Carol's fleeing from the mysterious "Roper." Anything's possible in TARDIS by TARDIS.
Friends Original Run: 1994-2004 Original Premise: "The lives, loves, and laughs of six young friends living in that secret all-white neigborhood in Manhattan where you're able to easily find spacious apartments in spite of your shitty job." Give 'em the Reboot: Friends II: The Friendzoning finds Chandler and Monica in a loveless marriage: the former blogging for Gawker while she -- having gained all her weight back -- conducts Rascal tours of Manhattan for the morbidly obese. Rachel's high-powered career keeps her from making much more than guest appearances, which is just as well because Ross was killed in a Brontosaurus skeleton collapse. Phoebe lives C.H.U.D.-like in the sewers, and Joey is the junior senator from New York.
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