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Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

Last night's only winner.
Last night's only winner.

Did you watch the debate between President Barack Obama and challenger Mitt Romney last night? You weren't alone. I'm not up on things like "ratings" or ""Nielsens" but I do know the whole shebang brought down Twitter for a little while.

And that kind of screwed me up. See, my brilliant idea was to recap the debate real-time while using the infinitely more humorous folks on Twitter to provide me with grist for my bi-weekly Pop Rocks mill. That strategy backfired when Twitter proved incapable of handling the tens of thousands of wise-asses commenting to the debate.

But by soldiering on into the wee hours, I've foiled Twitter's pitiful traffic mismanagement. The big question remains: who won? Most polls indicate Romney got the better of the President, but given that he's been discounting the polls ever since they started going against him in the swing states, does it count?

Let's see what the Twitterati had to say.

Now, I only follow about 100 people on Twitter. But in a serendipitous miracle, only about half of them are legitimately funny. The other half retweet funny stuff. .

Naturally there were plenty of people who couldn't wait until the official start of festivities.

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

That's a Dark Knight Returns reference, for you illiterates.

British writer Warren Ellis was also right there from the beginning.

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

Sensing some partisan bias. Doesn't matter, he's English.

Of course, some folks went another route:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

I'll spare you the gazillion Tweets about Romney and Obama's tie colors.

There was...quite the outburst about Romney's support of so-called "clean" coal:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

Whatever else happened, the backlash against Romney's plans to cut funding for PBS (which would have a negligible effect on the deficit). Roots drummer ?uestlove noted the immediate creation of a new Twitter account:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

That account, of course, was this:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

Meanwhile astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson brings the truth:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

 

As always we can rely on comedians to provide witty commentary on current ev....HEY, SOMEONE GET LOUIS CK OUT OF HERE.

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

See, I was so mad about this I magically erased his profile pic.

Several folks commented on the overall poor performance of both candidates. This one I liked.

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

Things winding down. Getting drowsy. How are my Cards doing?

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

At the end, as usual, the Onion said what a lot of us were thinking:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

As did James Urbaniak:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

Overall, pretty uninspiring on all sides. Rob Delaney, take us out:

Pop Rocks: Your Official 1st Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen On Twitter

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