Pop Rocks: Your Official 3rd Presidential Debate Recap...As Seen (Once Again) on Twitter
Last night's big winner: the bayonet.
Last night was the third and final Presidential debate, in which incumbent President Barack Obama and challenger Mitt Romney attempted to sway the opinions of the seven people left in this country who haven't decided who they're voting for.
The election is two weeks away. Did last night's verbal shenanigans change any potential voters' minds, or was it yet another exercise in pointless neo-corporate posturing? There's only one place that can provide these answers: to the Twitter feed!
How big a night was this? Michelle Beadle (whom I follow purely for, uh, educational reasons) lets us know:
Why does she hate baseball? Probably the same reason I do, now that the Cards are out of it.
Lest we forget, last night's debate focused on foreign policy:
No Latveria? You'll be hearing from Dr. Doom's ambassadors (that's what he calls his ICBMs).
There were also those who weren't even sure they wanted to watch the debate:
I'm sure the RIAA was glad to read that one.
But then it was time for actual debatin', and right off the bat, we were talking about the Middle East:
Obama's subsequent cracks about Romney's "1980s foreign policy" aside, this is the least 1980s thing anyone has ever said.
Unfortunately for Romney, he was in for a long night:
This country will never be safe until we secure our borders against the dire threat posed by the Crimson Dynamo and Nikolai Volkoff.
As a geography buff from way back, this might have been my favorite screw-up of the night:
Duh, he meant the Sabkhat al-Jabbul, people. Read between the lines.
But then, Romney didn't strike out with everybody:
I dunno, have you checked out Obama's hair lately? That job powders everybody.
Much hay was also made about Romney's claim that you could go on his web site and find out how he'd balance the budget:
I did try it, for the record. I couldn't get past the part about "empowering states to innovate with Medicaid" without laughing until my aorta ruptured.
Well, we've heard a lot from pundits and politicos, what about the Dark Knight?
He's probably not the only one.
Romney seemed very concerned about our seafaring capabilities as well:
Sadly, this was only the beginning.
You've already experienced the Internet shitstorm that resulted from this:
"And I promise you I'll put America's small business bayonet-makers back to work" - Mitt Romney.
There was a lot more, but wow does watching these things get tiring:
And then there was this:
It wasn't just you.
Luckily for America, celebrities were watching the debate as well:
Oh, that LiLo.
There was more, a lot more, but exit polls concur that Obama won the third debate. Of course, there are outliers, which personal favorite Neko Case dealt with handily:
"Retard." And networks like ABC pay this woman for her opinions.
Two more weeks, people.
Get the Theater Newsletter
Get a rundown of upcoming theater events and ticket deals in Houston.