Razzies Trash Jennifer Aniston and Various Vampires
Sure the Oscars celebrated Natalie Portman, the Coen Brothers, and Banksy earlier this week with their predictable noms, but the real fun fatty meat is with the Golden Raspberry Awards or Razzies. The Razzies have been skewering the worst in film since 1981, which makes 30 years of hating on shitty movies. And brother, it'll continue as long as Hollywood is greenlighting movies about talking babies that are geniuses and Jennifer Aniston is breathing.
Seriously, can she not make a decent movie anymore? Remember The Good Girl with Jake Gyllenhaal? It wasn't great, but it was a change. I even sort of liked The Break-Up, and not for the ass-shot. But it seems like every movie she comes out with is a boring couple date flick that gathers dust on your DVD shelf next to the Strip Aerobics box-set.
The first Worst Picture winner was 1980's Can't Stop The Music, the movie with the Village People and Bruce Jenner, directed by Allan Carr. In fact, the founder of the awards, John J.B. Wilson, actually started the Razzies after watching both Music and Xanadu in a row with friends.
Neil Diamond was voted as Worst Actor for his film The Jazz Singer, and The Blue Lagoon's Brooke Shields was rewarded with the first Worst Actress prize.
The actors and actresses with the most Razzies since 1980 have been Sylvester Stallone (natch), Sharon Stone, and Madonna, who has won five awards, including one for Body Of Evidence, which rules when you're a pre-teen with cable in your room.
The Illusionists - Live From Broadway (Touring)
TicketsSat., Mar. 11, 4:00pm
The King and I (Touring)
TicketsTue., Mar. 14, 7:30pm
Brain Candy LIVE: Adam Savage & Michael Stevens
TicketsThu., Mar. 23, 8:00pm
Ist Annual Beaumont Corvette Club Comedy Explosion
TicketsFri., Mar. 24, 8:00pm
Impractical Jokers "Santiago Sent Us" Tour Starring The Tenderloins
TicketsSat., Mar. 25, 5:00pm
This year's pool of wasted talent is stellar with Aniston and Ashton Kutcher the big nominees. That assclown George Lopez snagged a Worst Supporting Actor nom for not one but three movies. Upside-Down Exclamation Point Que lastima! Also, them Twilight boys got all sorts of bloodied. I feel so sorry for hot dudes with millions of dollars. Don't mind me, this tub of cottage cheese doesn't either.
Here's your Razzie Class Of 2011. May God help all of you with any of these movies on your shelves at home.
The Bounty Hunter
The Last Airbender
MY PICK: Sex & The City 2
MY PICK: Jack Black Gulliver's Travels
Gerard Butler The Bounty Hunter
Ashton Kutcher Killers & Valentine's Day
Taylor Lautner Twlight: Eclipse & Valentine's Day
Robert Pattinson Remember Me & Twilight: Eclipse
Miley Cyrus The Last Song
Jennifer Aniston The Bounty Hunter & The Switch
Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Sarah Jessica Parker Sex & The City 2
MY PICK: Megan Fox Jonah Hex
Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Billy Ray Cyrus The Spy Next Door
Dev Patel The Last Airbender
Jackson Rathbone The Last Airbender & The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
MY PICK: Rob Schneider Grown-Ups
George Lopez Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door, Valentine's Day
WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
MY PICK: Jessica Alba The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete, Valentine's Day
Liza Minelli Sex & The City 2
Nicola Peltz The Last Airbender
Barbara Streisand Little Fockers
Get the Theater Newsletter
Get a rundown of upcoming theater events and ticket deals in Houston.