So Long, Black Eyed Peas. And Take _____________ With You
We'll always have...whatever that was.
I suppose "taking a break" before that Super Bowl performance was too much to ask:
The Black Eyed Peas have denied rumors that they are breaking up but say they are taking a break from making music together for a while.
"We are not breaking up," band member Taboo told Reuters on Monday at a launch party for their video dance game, "The Black Eyed Peas Experience."
"We're going to take a little vacation and focus on our personal things," added Apl.de.ap, real name Allan Lindo, Jr. who will be focusing on his duties as ambassador for education in the Philippines.
One could make the argument BEP has taken a break from making music for the entirety o their existence, but let's not split hairs.
I, for one, welcome this brave decision. Now will.i.am can go back to voicing animated birds, Fergie can adapt to a more domestic life with Josh Duhamel, Apl.de.ap can enjoy his ambassador duties, and Taboo will, well, do whatever it is Taboo does.
But why stop there? If we're looking for celebrities and "artists" who need to take a break, I have a few suggestions.
Markiplier's You're Welcome Tour
TicketsThu., Jun. 8, 7:30pm
Something Rotten! (Touring)
TicketsFri., Jun. 9, 8:00pm
Something Rotten! (Touring)
TicketsSat., Jun. 10, 2:00pm
"The Fine Tex Mex Tour Starring William Lee Martin & Alex Reymundo"
TicketsFri., Jun. 16, 8:00pm
Disney Presents The Lion King (Touring)
TicketsTue., Jun. 27, 7:30pm
The "Sexiest Man Alive"appears to be following the Jason Statham career path of taking any role, no matter how mindless, and essentially making the same movies over and over again (I'll take Transporter 2 over The Hangover: Part 2 any day). At least Statham kicks lots of people in the face in all of his movies.
Those Kia Hamsters
Yes, I've seen The Wire, so I get the "Hamsterdam" reference. That doesn't change the fact that rodents are creepy, and man-sized rodents that drive cars and apparently take drugs (check out 0:09) are downright terrifying. Where's Omar when you need him?
I think five #1 singles from the same album is quite enough, thanks. My issue with Perry isn't so much that she sings knowingly about blackout threesomes while likely never having engaged in one, but that in every one of her songs she yells at me: "BABY YOU'RE A FIIIIREWORK!" Okay, okay, jesus...take it easy.
The damage Adam Sandler has done to the American cinematic landscape far outweighs whatever goodwill lingers for Happy Gilmore. And if extending the careers of Rob Schneider and Kevin James wasn't enough, now he's forced this jokeless homunculus on us. Oh wait, novelty teeth are funny, right?
In trying to bring about the demise of Two and a Half Men, we've been paying attention to the wrong people (or "digging in the wrong place," as Sallah might put it). After all, Charlie Sheen's corpse will eventually be discovered in a Days Inn, wearing nothing but ear buds and Bjorn Borg wristbands, and Ashton Kutcher's career is undoubtedly at its peak. But as the so-called straight man in the whole affair, Cryer is the linchpin to this 18-wheeler of comedic misery. And we had such hopes for Duckie.
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