Last week, our own Angelica Leicht regaled us all with a list of man-children the women of our fair city have probably dated. It was a frighteningly accurate list, according to the comments section. Sure, we all had a good laugh, but some of us also couldn't help but think that dating isn't exactly a cakewalk for us gentlemen (a term I use liberally), either. Dating can suck both ways, and since we at Art Attack believe in equality, here's a list to try and even out the playing field. And don't worry, guys. We've all had those feels, including yours truly.
The Xenocentric She's the woman who just hates it here. And although here refers, in this case, to Houston, it really could refer to any city besides the Big Apple, the Windy City or the City of Angels. Houston is just so boring, you know? There's no culture here. It's not a gargantuan, sprawling metropolis with a burgeoning music scene, award-winning theaters and museums and a town where she can try creative cuisine. She's just got to get out of here, and she'll never stop talking about it. If her life is stagnant, it's Houston's fault, not hers. But as soon as she moves to New York, Chicago or LA, she'll surely flourish.
The Austin Hopeful She could be placed in the same category at the xenocentric but, due to the proximity of our state capitol, this woman gets her own category. We get it, OK? Austin is a cool spot, and we too enjoy visiting on occasion. Believe it or not, a lot of us like Austin just fine, but it's tough to go on dates with someone who's constantly complaining about where she lives and wishing she lived just 160 miles northwest of here. Get over yourself or just relocate already, please.
The Hometown Hottie This woman was the belle of every high school and college ball. Every guy wanted her number, attended parties with her despite being friend-zoned, and she hasn't paid for a drink since she persuaded her older brother to buy her beer in 10th grade. She feigns modesty, but she loves the attention, and everyone sees it. You especially see it. Those trust issues so many people have? This is how they develop them.
