The 5 Best Welcome to Night Vale Items on Etsy

I am a recent convert to the cult that is the Welcome to Night Vale podcast. If you haven’t checked it out yet, it’s basically Tales from Lake Wobegon if it took place somewhere between Twin Peaks, Sunnydale and your conspiracy-crazed uncle’s tool shed. It’s bizarre, unsettling and utterly hilarious. I personally burned through 20 episodes in less than a week, and I’ve already become a bigger catch-phrase-spotting annoyance than I did when I discovered Doctor Who.

One of the joys of coming along later in the game of a pop culture phenomenon is that you get to see how fellow fanatics have harnessed their obsessive madness to craft items on Etsy. Night Vale is still relatively obscure, so there aren’t a whole lot, but there are at least five worth picking up.

This knitted accessory from Electric Reset is boldly emblazoned with the moon-eye logo of Night Vale. Though pictures on the seller's page indicate that it can be worn as a trendy headband, its clearly intended purpose is to shield your eyes so that you do not inadvertently spy the hooded figures in the forbidden dog park and to enable you to avoid all manner of sinister goings-on you are not supposed to see. Speaking as a connoisseur of sleep masks, I can assure you that this yarn-based mask will not adequately keep out light, but as people in Night Vale merely pretend to sleep, this should not lessen its worth. 

Custom shoes are common with any fandom, but these by Orlando Jones stand out for several reasons. The first is that while he works in splashes of the typical purple that defines Night Vale imagery, he uses brighter colors as well to create a unique look compared to the standard logos. Second is that Jones very lovingly brings our narrator, Cecil, to life in a way that is part traditional portrait, part Charles Manson doodle. Truly inventive footwear for a truly inventive show.

Cecil isn't the only beloved character in Night Vale. Check out this keychain celebrating Hiram McDaniels, the literal five-headed dragon and prospective mayoral candidate. Kathryne H. of Fort Thomas, Kentucky, crafts these keychains out of sculpey — which would make for fantastic election swag. The eyes glow in the dark so that you can enjoy the mysterious lights of Night Vale without leaving your own room. 

Though the Night Vale City Council denies its existence, angels are a common sight in the town. According to sources, mostly Old Woman Josie, they are tall, easily angered, all named Erika, one of them is black, and they often serve as informants for Cecil's show. Mr. Cat Nip Mouse of Dallas creates impressive doll representations of the angels even though he's from a terrible, terrible city. Reviews refer to the angels as "super cute" and "moderately poseable." 

Do you all hail the mysterious glow cloud? Of course, we all do. But if you really want to show it, then you'll need a glow cloud of your own, and no one makes them better than Amelia McCollum. This portentous parasol is made of polyester clouds bonded to a clear umbrella. LED light chains ensure that your glow cloud will indeed be as glowy as it is cloudy. Not for use in actual rain, since it will ruin your glow cloud, be it rain or dead animals. Take it to your school-board meetings to let them know you mean business. Just some of the fun you can have inspired by the amazing world of Night Vale.

Jef has a new story about robot sharks out now in Lurking in the Deep. You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter


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